Thursday, January 31, 2013

African Hair Care

Let me just say African hair care is no easy task.  I grew up in the Virgin Islands, my local school had no white(Caucasian) kids. the Island Public Schools consist of Black (West Indian), Hispanic (Puerto Rican and Dominican) , Trini (Trinidad) sometimes Indian. 
   Kids that had "white people hair" were very seldom and sometimes even considered "rich" kids.  I had naturally curly hair and that was a novelty also.  I remember the island girls coming to school with braids and nice relaxed hair. If you had your hair like the photo of my little Roo up above you were in trouble.  
   Also African Americans are very serious about hair care. Trust me I have gotten phone numbers from stranger Black woman that volunteer to save my girls from the disgrace. It usually ends with "thank you so much" and I pocket the number and then read up on the new hair product and use that one.  
   Then the hair gets frizzy and well I am at a loss again. I am not one of these spectacular moms that can work magic on their girls hair they are amazing and I feel so ill equipped when it comes to their skill.  
         I took little Roo for her first ever hair cut, um she is 5 and a HALF. Seriously.  Would you look at these curls. She got a special cut called the Ouidad,  I do recommend this place its in Snohomish  . We like the professionals here, they were caring and didn't cut too much off.  It did take care of the frizz. I just wish I could bring Kelsey home with me to style here hair for the next few years. 
 Is she not the most precious little one ever. I am biased :)  


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

2 years 7 months 3 days

    948 days. I am not a genius, I used a calculator duration doodad to let me know how long it has been since the new ones made a debut to our tribe.   For 948 days I have learned many things about myself. Many things I thought I knew about me and was wrong, many ways I thought I was strong at and found out I was a wimp, many things I failed at, many things I had small victories to. Many things I learned about my husband about his Grace, about His manhood, about His fathers heart.  Many things I learned about a Saviors love. Vast, more vast than the ocean. 

I John 3:16  By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
 I learned that this verse about laying our lives down for one another  has another meaning. Giving love to someone and not getting back right away is ...ah... wearisome. Laying your life down for someone even when that person never asked you to, when that person resented that you did, when that person may never ever say thank you. 
     I have a tiny glimpse a minuscule taste of how our Father must feel when we stomp in his face, when we tell Him we can do without Him, when we choose our own way. Yet there He is, arms wide open ,waiting for the day we choose to connect waiting for the day we call him not only Dad but MY DAD. Mine. 
    I am not comparing my self to the brilliance that God is. I fail every time I open my eyes each morning. There were so many more deserving people for this journey.  He choose Frank and I. 
   People told us we could't people told us we shouldn't . We began to feel way over our heads from the beginning.  Every time I began to say "I can't" a small whisper "I know, but I can."    
    We are not 100% healed. She has come a big way. She calls me "my mom" and means it. We have a girl that has been tremendously hurt.  Her wounds are deep, they have burrowed into her identity.  So, I have to remember loving this girl would be the most important job I was ever given.  So much so I have to remind my self everyday what love is... 
                             Love is patient it is kind. 
    This means I have to be a punching bag sometimes. I have to be kind about it. Most times I am not.
                            Does not envy or boast 
 Its strange but for a long time, I wanted to boast in my value. She would not treat me this way if she knew I had value right? um yes and no it didn't matter.  I can not boast in this kind of love. Also the relationships I see in other mother/daughter relationship has been a source of envy for me.  It can not be so. 
                              It is not arrogant or rude
                           It does not insist on its own way
If I had it my own way, wounds would be healed, and the ideal of what our family should look  like would be...but from the first verse love is patient!
                             It is not irritable or resentful
 double sigh, irritation is my BF. 
It does not rejoice in wrong doing but rejoices in the truth 
   Truth is I have a child that things have happened to her, that struggles with knowing her worth. That has so much hurt it comes out in behavior. That wants to be loved and accepted and wanted. That is trying to trust that is trying to love.   
                                  Love bears all things
Even when it takes every single energy from you. It bears it. 
                                  believes all things
  Even when some days hope is turned into grieving. Believe that this will be better tomorrow. 
                                Hopes all things 
                             endures all things
Yes even when its hard to get a return. Yes even when I cringe every time I see the school calling. Even with the eye roll and the ignoring and the snippy remarks and the harsh comments about my appearance.  

  I am not a saint, it gets at me when people say this to us. We are so flawed. 948 days later, I am better for it. 


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Word of the Year 2013

Its been a little while. Hello friends. We are one to a new year. With a new year, new vision and a new word. Last year we were challenged to seek a new word representing what the months to follow would cling to. A promise if you will, and boy did it ring true for the year we had. On to this one.  Chief and I began seeking a word for this year.  Praying, reflecting. Then there was a word my sweet hubby came up with. I tell you it was super hard to confess this word because I am afraid of what it looks like this year. How it will manifest itself in this new year. 
    We went to a service at our church and as soon as the word OUR word came out of our pastors mouth. We knew.  Here it is.....
  Have you ever read the book of Nehemiah? Okay little Sunday school lesson in a nutshell. So the walls of Jerusalem had been broken down in Judah. Nehemiah's brother came and shared the news to which Nehemiah was torn and heartbroken. He begged his king if he can go and repair the walls which were in rubble. The walls came down, well.. were burnt down.  Nehemiah wanted to restore these walls to honor the Lord.  He set out to build rock by rock, and then they came "builder of the walls." Gods people.  Also there were the critics (Sanballot and Tobiah) who mocked and ridiculed Nehemiah and his wall builders. But Nehemiah continued strong building until every single rock was in place.  The wall RESTORED the Glory... Gods. 
   Sometimes we are in a rubble of our own mess. Sometimes it feels impossible for the rubble to be built back up, even hopeless.  Sometimes it feels like too much so we sit in the ruin of our disgrace, waiting for someone to pull us out.  Worse sometimes before we even begin to build the "sandballots and Tobiahs" take any hope we have formed to move even one stone.   Sometimes we forget how AWESOME, MIGHTY, GOOD, POWERFUL our God is.  Can He not, will He not, Will we ask Him? 

   This year is the year of restoration for us. Restoration of old ruins and rubble. Restoration of things we thought were dead.  Restoration of our walls.   
 I love this word, even if I am scared of what the growth will look like.   Get your word, people...I promise it helps and encourages. 

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!