I bawled like a baby on Friday when I was conference called by my dear one and my mother. I held it together as I heard her speak. Cancer ..she maintained composure and she began to share the details of the diagnosis of the prognosis of the treatment to come.
Hot tears rolling down my face, a pit to my stomach. I wanted to throw up. She was finishing up the details and finished with "don't worry" "I will be okay" as if talking herself into it. I repeated it like a mantra over and over in my head. She finished up, we all hung up. Hardly speaking a word besides "I will call you later, k."
her sweet little family
Worst word in the English vocabulary. Cancer there is no warmth to it. No matter what kind these are fighting words. Fight for health, fight for life.
Her babies need her....we need her.
I want to say it will be okay. I want to say after this operation it will take every cell away. I want it to go away, I want it to never have existed in her body to begin with. I want to be strength for her. Even when I am afraid.
It will not be an easy road. She has a mess in front of her. She will need support and prayer in every way.
Many many survivors, many happy ever afters. She will be one.
We will have more times like this when she is well.
(don't ask! ha!)
some more times like this......
and these moments
and in the meantime....Be praying for her. For Strength for wisdom of doctors, for support. For Community of care at her feet since we do not live close.
One day soon...we will hear that word.. (the C word) and it will just be another part of life.
We are going to get kick this shit! (excuse the french!) oh yeah and comment to let her know you are on board with praying!!