Saturday, September 29, 2012

Its been a tough couple

Dealing with some tough situations these past few weeks. Emotionally. Past demons that creep up to to leave me battle torn and exhausted.  

 Financially, Rough. We seem to come here often and it just sets me up for a stressful outlook. A very ungrateful spirit. 

  Children with learning disabilities have me feeling very helpless.

                   Feeling out of control of many things.

 Today, I opened up the word. Honestly I have not been in it. Honestly I have been ignoring it. I know, there you have it. I just needed to sit in the self pity. Not need but just wanted. 
       A sweet friend sent me a text the other day. She was following up on an email invitation to join a cyber bible study Good Morning Girls. I read it, and went on my day. 
Then she texted me went something like this:
  It cut some of it but the top said "You are doing this Bible Study with me, _____is doing it too.

I had many excuses why not. Time, commitment, I even threw this one....ready? I already read that one (the Bible.) Good one Nat, good one.
    This morning, dusted off the Bible. I opened it up and began to read. One verse hit me like a ton. 
    "He is before ALL things, and in HIM all Things HOLD together" Colossians 1:17
   Read this one a tons. Today it rang truth. LET GO. I can't hold it together anymore.  Light bulb.
     Today was lighter much lighter and grateful for friends that don't take no.

Friday, September 14, 2012

My life be like

This happens at 6:00 AM. I wake to the shuffle of these men getting ready, place my feet in slippers wiping the sleep. Brush teeth, wash face.  Feed these two.
 One goes to Middle School in a car pool, and one goes to big daddy work.

Then This:
  Usually it goes like this. Kids wake, kids brush teeth, make beds, get dressed, clean up clothes on floor, eat breakfast, do chores, and work on passports (Geography Map program), and spelling (the dreaded spelling!) A few time outs, a few tears, a few deep breaths from myself. Spilled milk on counter, dropped ice cubes that have melted on the floor, someone forgot to flush the toilet and our dog went into it and made a mess. Someone punched someone else out of frustration. I  send two to  the trampoline to get energy out and finally I put one show on in the morning because we still have an hour left!! Sometime in here, I open my two devotionals Oswald Chambers and Jesus Calling.   Some prayer for the day...more deep breath.

  Then This: 4 take off to start the school day.

Then This lots and lots of this...

Then This... one of my favorites moments in the day. Just little Roo and I till 12:30

  To Kindergarten and then  2 1/2 entire hours to my self. Where I do........ a few more chores

 (This is after ONE child takes a bath after NOT wearing any shoes outside) 

  Maybe a run: Don't be jealy of the good looks.  
A few errands. Or maybe meet a friend for a coffee or lunch or simply connecting with friends via phone calls and texts. 

   Lets skip ahead in a nut shell. Get middle schoolers from drop off (every other day)  get middle schoolers to where they need to be. J and I have one hour before the littles come home. I work on dinner he works on catching up on episodes of Dr. Who and share about his day. 
   The littles get in I force a piece of fiber in thier mouth before we are doing this:

 The rest of the evening, Dinner for the kids, I take Chiefs and my dinner to the field. Cleaning dishes, prepping for the next morning, setting out clothing, doing loads of laundry and in-between those checking Facebook, corresponding to messages, clutter clean up and hitting the sack to do the same things all over again the next day. 
 AND this is not even counting the in betweens of those moments that come up and there are a plethora of those. I also think I go to Safeway  almost every two  days. MY WORD>.
   And people say stay at home moms work is not real work. Ha!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Got fitted for our first Ballet Shoes and wardrobe this weekend. 
   I may be living vicariously through her, always wanted to be a ballerina. Up until my ballet teacher told my mother in front of my that I could not go into company because of my large ankles. so... I quit. I have had dreams that I made it to the New York City Ballet Company and then go to the Carribean Dance school where I first fell in love with the bar, and show up all my gold medals..or whatever you get win you do awesome. Them my old ballet teacher would totally be so upset that she had a prodigy and then let her fat ankles go.    So, a girl can dream mkay. k. 

My baby

Hello have you meet my baby. She started Kindergarten last week. MY BABY. Ruby came home to us at 3 months old. It was love at first sight. I mean how could you not?   
   This little cherry sweater she is styling was hand knitted by her grandma. She picked it out of a knitting catalog and grandma got busy this summer knitting it. She asked her to have it done for her first day of school and grandma worked her little tail off to have it just in time.  Its perfect, no? Love it, and thankful for a grandma that has patience and care to take the time to do it. 

    Two Favorites for Kindergarten 
1. Recess
2. The bus
    Now that make a mom proud right there.  ha!

We have been in Kindergarten for a few days and Roo already is super popular. This morning I walked her in the walls of School and kids were coming up to her a ton. An older 3rd grade boy said hello to her, and I said "Oh Ruby is that your friend from...???" She says
"oh mom, he's  just  a kid on the bus who was wanting to touch my hair to see what it felt like and I said sure!"   um K.

  Love her.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

My town My Oly

This crazy amazing thing happened to me while I was gone from this City.  I fell in love with it.   I have always liked Oly.  BUT. you know that saying, you know, the one you and I have probably said a few more than a dozen times. Goes something like this. ..
"You never know what you have until you loose it. " 

   This is what happened with Oly for me. I moved. I lost it. I ached. I was never settled.  Fast forward 18 months to where we moved back because of my aching for it and all.   
                         I LOVE my city. I am jealous for her. 

 I drive around and I just say to myself many times a day "I love it here. I love this!"  I love that I can drive pretty much anywhere and see Mt. Rainer. I love that I can walk to three neighboring parks from my house. I love that my neighbors are always outside ..well at least from since June -um maybe next few weeks. 

                 I love that I can look outside and know all the kids in our neighborhood by name. That thier parents know my kids name. 
 I love that our neighbor coaches A's football team and that he has a really close friend right next door. That J has his close buddy in the house after that. that Roo has a good friend in the house after that. 
     I love that I get to drive and point things out to the kids because of a memory "this is where Dad asked me to marry him!" "this is where I first took you J on your first outing out!" "This is where you learned to ride your bike for the first time"
 I love driving a few minutes (5 tops!) to great destinations .....

    I have always been jealous of when people felt "settled" or like they "Belonged" somewhere. I even wondered if that feeling even existed. I longed for it. 

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. ~melody Beattie

   Gratitude has turned this place I once lived into *home*.  I have waited for this feeling for a looonnnngggg time.  Age 33, you have been kind to me. 

          Oly baby....   you are more than enough for me.         

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Lets not forget these lads.

   Say Cheese...and this is what I get. Nice. 

This happened today. I drove my 11 *will be 12* to middle school. 
                   I fought it I fought back the tears. 
 We walked into the school and walked to the lockers. I nervously tried like ten times to open it. We noticed very fast that there was two moms in the halls me and another mom of really young looking and very nervous 6th grader. I was sticking out like a sore thumb.  
Then came this "I will figure everything out mom. see you later" gasp.  me :"k. babe, see yous."
 And with that I excited the school no hugs no kiss. Just a broken heart. 
   I know I am sap. If that was not all. During elementary assembly I noticed a sweetheart friend of mine. We meet when our big boys were in toddler gym at our local YMCA. We sent our boys to kindergarten together and today we are both dropped our big boys to 6th grade. The music started at the assembly the same music that played when my now 6th grader was in Kindergarten. The big kicker...we both send our BABIES to kindergarten tomorrow. I was a mess!  
      He made it, he did good. He told me about the jocks, he told me who was made fun off and why and that he already has homework. 
          Middle school woes....twas not my fav!

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

J-man, Middle School

My first born. Tomorrow you are getting to go to Middle School. I have teared up each time this week as I go turn your lights off and tuck you in.  
   This summer we have bonded, greatly. We actually hang out and you like to hang with me...shhh...I wont tell anyone. ha~! 
   I want you to know how excited I am for you, even if I have cried  just about 37 times or so, I don't know who's counting. 
   I want you to know I am so proud of who you are. 
    I want you to know I like who you are you are excellent just this way. Change for no one.  I want you to know your quirky and silliness makes me enjoy life. 
      I want you to know that we delight in your life, that you will make a thoughtful husband one day. 
  I want you to know you that I will pay your copay's when you see a psychologist when you grow up. That I am sorry I had to mess up first with you to get it right. 

 I want you to know that God made you and placed you in my life for such a time as this. You are amazing, your are my pride. 
             You are my first born, you will hold a place inside my heart that nobody else can take. I am amazed when I watch you,that you are mine.    Watching you open your heart to God is making my heart burst. He has mighty plans for you just like the King we named your after. 
                                     I love you to the moon. 

Your mama, who is tucking you tonight and crying for the 38th time. 

 From dad: 
   I want you to be a light, I want you to do your best, I want you enjoy your life. I am proud of you, I want you to never try to be something that you are not. Stay away from rap music. 
  the end..

Ruby Roo meets Miss Evans

Little Roo, 
 Today was meet the teacher day at school. You were excited but I was even more excited! Your two older brothers were in Miss Evans class years ago. Miss Evans holds a special place in my heart for this reason. In fact we began our adoption of you while J was in her class 6 years ago!   So while I transitioned my first born to kindergarten class we were in the process of the beginning of your adoption .

back from memory lane...
You waited your turn very patiently to meet her. 

  Conversation went like this:
Roo: "Hi I am Ruby !''
Miss Evans: "I know who you are, you had two brothers in my class and the last time you were in my class you were so little!" 
Roo: "Yeah"

Miss Evans: "here lets get you a medal because everyone in my class in a winner!"
Mom: Silent sob

 My favorite part of this day was when you went into meet your music teacher . This is what you said 
"Hi I am Ruby ...well....(arms opened all sassy!)  sing for me!" 
 To which Mrs. Getty said "Hi I just meet you , and this is crazy, ...
you interupted to sing along
 "But here's my me maybe!"

Kid your going to be okay. No mommy....that's another story!
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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!