Tuesday, July 10, 2012

His Grace my Grace

Two years ago this time, our worlds collided. Me a mom full of compassion and blind love. Hers a world of hurt, trauma and confusion. My naive outlook that love would cover all pain and that all she needed was a warm bed and a mamas arms to be well.   I read books, looked at videos, went to conferences and nothing prepared me for the journey of what I would experience in the next two years to follow. 

Two years ago if you told me that I would parent a child that pushed my love far away to protect her own self.  I may look at you with a empty glaze. Why? Oh because my love would cover her hurt. Go ahead laugh, I have had many giggles when I think of my unpretentious musings regarding older child adoption.

 Never would I even guessed that God in his amazing Grace, Strength, and Wisdom would equip me with what I needed to love her, and He would do it by peeling me like an onion.  Discovering who He is and who He wants us to believe He is.  
The amazing thing is that...ready for this shocker. ... it was not MY love that helped her blossom. It is not MY love that is helping her heal.   Amazing, right.  It is His love in me.  I get to watch it, I have a front seat to the show. And folks its a stellar show.
Its hard to see from the sideline what this child and this mama have endured in the last two years. Its impossible to fill you in. For her protection and honor she can share those intimate details perhaps one day. 
                             She is worth it, I am telling you. 
Pray with me will you? That she would see her preciousness even on the days she feels so unworthy that she will sabotage the good and push it away so it doesn't fail her first.  That she feels wanted even if the words chosen means she was given up first in order to be chosen.   Pray that she runs into His arms when the world lets her down. It will it has. I have been apart of that.  That I would have Grace for her and she for me as we help heal.    
                                        His Grace is enough. 

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!