Thursday, May 5, 2011

Have issues with measuring Just me?

Ever feel under a grand amount of pressure to measure up to a standard you make up for yourself? Sure there are plenty of people in our lives hinting us or boldly sharing the expected standards, some are but not limited to the media, your family, a mother in law or mother, your husband, the perfect room mom, your church, your friends, a friendenmy (those faux friends!)

Indeed we carry these miscomprehended and unattainable standards. They become weights on our ankles and we fail ourselves when we do not meet them. We become slaves to them they guilt us, they overwhelm us, they paralyze us. It becomes a ball and chain and when a new ''should be" comes along we add the chink to the link and it becomes a heaver load. Its a constan battle for me.
I am going to be honest and share with you my "should be's". I wonder if you share the same
1. I should be homeschooling my children.
2. I should be baking all my bread at home
3. I should be cutting every single coupon
4. I should be volunteering more
5. I should be sewing projects at home and making my children's clothing or something
6. I should be having a super clean house every single day
7. I should have behaved children ALL THE TIME
8. I should be teaching my kids more about Jesus
9. I should be giving back to my community
10. I should be I should be I should be Doing, Making, Being, Acting,
The list can go on and on. I SHOULD write more. <-----SEE!
The point is. I never measure up to this standard of the Superwoman I want to be or think I ''should'' be. OR what I think what people think I should be....I know I am a mess! I am reminded by how much I am not by the people around me trying to meet the standard of greatness set before them as well. Never ending cycle of drama, and unmet standards of cosmic crazyiness. I also end up in nervous breakdowns because of not being able to attain not even a fraction on the list.
As a matter of fact just in the last few years I have had a couple nervous breakdowns. A few before we moved ,it is painful, and I thought I was going to die! As much as chief would tell me not to worry about it I was stressed out because I could not stop worrying and they worry about it made me stress out that I was not taking his advice!
Here is what I have learned and am learning about this. ITS NOT FROM GOD! No, sir. This is not from the heart of Jesus for me. The root of this is fear. Perfect Love cast out ALL FEAR.
Fear leads to worry and anxiety. Clearly he speaks in Matthew 6 about not worrying about tomorrow. In 1 Peter he speaks about casting all anxiety on him, you know cause he cares for us!
Why then is it so hard to take the shackles off our feet so we can dance? Psalm 2:3 I get freed and then sell my freedom very fast at the sight of another up and coming new aspiration. Again and again. Aspire, fail to the standard set before by myself.
I can not attain all of those in one person, I am just me. Laundry never seeing the bottom of the laundry basket, loosing my keys, receipts always falling out of my wallet, forgetting to pull the meat out to defrost, going to the grocery store without my list, saying a curse words when I stub my toe ME. I am a mess.
Lord, Jesus help me and all of us, the woman (and MEN) that get boggled down with a standard set before us that is not of you or for your Glory. Break the shackles off our feet so that we may be able to dance in the freedom you set before us. Restore the image that you want us to be that is in your word and help us to be wise and discerning for the falsehood that so quickly come and destroy what you have already shown.


La Dolce Vita: The Sweet Life said...

Oh, yes. I can totally relate. Being a stay at home mom, I can easily have way too crazy high of expectations of myself. I love a lot of those things on your list, but I want to do things out of love and what is in my heart, rather than expectations. You are correct, most are not of God. He just wants us to love Him and to teach our children to love and serve Him.

Amy said...

Amen! :) Great post!


The Tulloss Family said...


Tammy said...

I totally get that Nat!! I have been there and fall into those thoughts more than I would like to admit. Hang in there girl. Drop the expectations and just do your best. I think that is all God expects of us. We are the ones who put the pressure/worry/anxiety on ourselves not him!

Love ya Nat!

the H family said...

Amen, AMEN!

I am a mess right along with you, and we share many of the same "Should Be's." But you are right- they all come from people, not our God who knows us and loves us. If we were perfect, then what would the point of this mortal lifebe? All of those people talking their talk, guess what- they are just as messy. We may not see it, but they are. There is a certain person in my life who loves to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I have known her for 20+ years and it has always been the same. I used to listen, but I learned that she is no better off in life than I am. Her kids are all grown and they really didn't turn out so hot. She is never happy or satisfied. WHY would I WANT to be like her? I am GOOD ENOUGH for right now.

I am sititng here in my jammies, drinking kool-aid because it tastes better then the bottled water that I "Should" be drinking." I have laundry to do and I don't want to. I've already cursed more than once this morning. My kids fought in the car on the way to school and I yelled at them. I ate Nutter Butters for breakfast. There, do you feel better about yourself now? LOL!

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!