Somewhere in the back of my mind I was preparing myself for the stark reality that the teenage years will come. That I may get a ''I wish you were not my mom!" vent after a tug war about why I won't allow our kids to drive for a while, or even date for that matter! Nothing could prepare me for the words I heard today from one of the ones on my tribe after asking from her a simple request of brushing her teeth. "You Are NOT my Mom!'' Me: "you want to try again with respect!'' Her: VERY CLEARLY "I said YOU are not my MOTHER!'' Me: asking all the kids to leave because I may be embarrassed at what comes out of my mouth next...all the while begging the Holy Spirit to guide me in this because I can Blow it, majorly here. Me: "Is there another person doing all your laundry, helping you with your homework every day, feeding you, providing for you?'' I am it!'' I am you mom!'' Her: Angry I could feel the daggers and I am sensing I need to calm down. Me: "Honey you have been adopted into a new family, that means that we are now your mom and dad, that never means we take over your biological mom and dad they will always have that place.'' Her: With this next phrase I was flabbergasted "I NEVER ASKED TO BE ADOPTED!'' Pause to gather my thoughts, pause because there is Nothing coming to my mind. Then it did. Me: "You are right, no one asked you, no one asked you if you wanted a new mother, no one asked you if you wanted to leave your home country, you have a right to be angry!'' Her: Staring at the ground tears forming in her eyes. Me: ''No one every asks us if we want pain, because the answer will always be NO. If someone asked me if I wanted my son to die the answer would be NO! But look at the blessings I have because God used his death for life. Its painful, It never stops being sad. BUT, it will get easier with Gods help. Your right, I am not your biological mother, I am not the mother that saw your first breath, or that nursed you. I am the answer to the prayer of that mother. She needed someone to come, to help, and she prayed and I am the answer to that. It hurts, it sucks sometimes. I know you didn't sign up for this. I am so so sorry!'' Me: "anything you want to tell me?'' Her: "I don't want to be your daughter!''......shatter slash right to the heart, I can go back to Ghana!'' This child would rather experience hunger on the streets than the sadness of her soul. This kind of pain must feel unbearable. Me: "This is no place for children, you can be killed, you can be taken and what would happen to E, you would have to take care of him too. This is not your job. This is a job of a mom and dad. I am sorry that this did not happen for you. God does not want that kind of life for you. For any of his children. Many of them die every day because of this. I know you know that, I know you have seen that." By this time I just think she has said what she needed to say and we may be done.
After tears and a softness and a hug. I made her apologize for the words. I am not sure if she meant the sorry yet, but I need her to know that I am still her authority and I am strong enough to protect her, but I do not wish for hard words to be spoken to me. This part stinks. This part is not fair. This part hurts. BUT there is Hope, I can not give up. God would never give up on me, even when I tell him "'Your not my dad, what kind of dad would do this. Would take my son away!'' He didn't give up on me. I am human it makes I will mess up with my answers to her, I proablly did so something I should have not or even used to many words. This is my first time. It makes me angry that a child has to go thorough this, Its such injustice. BUT its reality. Its also another Big reason why I am reminded of Gods mercy every day in my home. I am not expecting my daughters or son to rise up and say thank you to me, Its my hope. One day I would really like her to see how much I fought for her, how mchh my prayers for her were worth it. Till that day, Love Abounds.
Any unauthorized copying of these photos or posts will constitute an infringement of copyright. No part of this blog or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author.