Tuesday, February 15, 2011

DO OVER

Dr. Karin Purvis a well know child's physciatrist taught me a little trick from her book the Connected Child. Its called a DO OVER.
When your child has said something disrespectful in asking something of you simply and calmly say with smiling eyes ''darling how about a do over, this time with respect!''

I often wish I had some do overs of life. Anyone? anyone at all?





Here are some of my top 5s I would LOVE to do OVER.


1. Baby wise book...I despise this book now. I SO disagree with the whole theory of letting your child cry things out. I did baby wise with my second child and regret it. My baby should have had me at his beckoning call and never had to question if I was going to be there. Its the silliest thing that I say this now, but really if I can do a do over, I would say thank you for the women that suggested it, never suggest it to any new mamas and snuggled my baby more much more. No such thing as spoiling a baby.


2. Telling people when I have been hurt all the time. DUMB. There is something to be said about letting things go, most times those feelings are all made up in your mind and the person did not mean it the way you took it, or was just having a bad day. Grace is much more needed in the world, than a person letting you know every single time they have been hurt. I can not even believe I was that person and sometimes that person in me tries to grab at me and say ''they'' should know ''they hurt'' you ''they'' were yucky, ''they'' were not nice at all, ''they'' were manipulating, controlling blah blah. Really now I have come to realize that I live for Christ and Christ alone, and I should expect persecution, and I should be content when people hurt me for his name sake. Its a tough one, but if I can take back the complete waste of energy I have poured out crying over hurtful words said to me especially for doing something I knew God was telling me, I so would be good!

3. Laugh more. Don't take things so serious. Life can be so serious, laughter is good medicine and those times that I should have just laughed with my family instead of taking things so serious would have really been helpful to all.

4. The need for approval. Wow, God yanked this one from under my shoes big time. He had me do something complete crazy and ''un-approvable'' (is that a word) we adopted two more kids into our home with a tight budget, and one son that had some needs. Looking back I can see how much my need for approval had left me feeling lonely, hurt, rejected, unloved, and unwanted because we didn't have all hands on deck to put it that way. God took me through that entire process to take away my need to be liked, supported, wanted, and approved by everyone all the time. There is something very wrong with your life, if everyone approves of your decisions. Shake the boat a bit buster. If I could take that need away I would have saved myself some major heart ache and sorrow. But I guess I would not feel the way I do now.


Two my favorite quotes


The true gospel is a call to self-denial, It is not a call to self-fulfillment'' John Macarthur


Security is mostly a superstition...it does not exist in nature, life is either a daring adventure or nothing '' Helen Keller


5. Tried harder at family times. My MIL has a big heart for her family and her dream is to always have everyone together all the time. We shared the same dream because that's how I was raised, family is everything. However life and seasons get in the way and it had gotten really hard to get family together and I think along the way we just kinda accepted that and gave up. It ached me, I wanted so much to have the Stuart Little family scenario where everyone shows up at each play for the cousins and that my nephews and nieces would just be dropped by without question or checking the schedule. I could have enforced it more. Like threaten to kidnap the kids from school if they didn't bring them or something :) I just gave up and chalked it up to being busy and life.


God is so good and giving do-overs we never know,he just may give us some. BUT we are so different going through trials and life journeys sometimes its healthy to look back and not necessarily have regrets but just know how different we would approach things now. In a healthier way with more grace, and mercy and love.

2 comments:

A. Gillispie said...

Great post Nat. The part about not needing everybody's approval--yeah...I have a hard time with that one! I don't think it causes me to live differently but I sure get my feelings hurt when someone doesn't approve!

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

I want do-overs too!!!

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!