J-Man trying on his new Roller Blades he picked out at Target spree shop Little E bought me these beautiful earrings, love his heart!
I posted earlier about how different this Christmas will be for our family. How its been a rough reality, but we are just going to suck it up and do it. We decided early on that we can not give to each other or anyone else really, not even to teachers, or staff, or even to our favorite charities. We just can't. Then some school letters came home, you know the ones that ask you to give if you can to the stars on the tree, or the angels for families in need. I wanted to, oh I so wanted to! Then I got a special letter a personalized letter asking our family if we need any assistance this year. gulp. US? We were the ones that signed up to get gifts usually, or to donate etc. We were part of groups and churches that adopted families that needed help. It was something we have enjoyed for years, and now we were being asked if we needed the help!? This year the letter was coming home for OUR family. It was humbling, and to be very honest I was so sad that the tables were turn and we were that family in the situation. I filled out the sheets they asked for the kids the wish list. Turned it in, still having a hard time with my pride. Then another letter came in from our school, our kids were selected to go on a "Shop with A Buccaneer"No kidding get this. The sister High school near our kids school set up an entire day where they match a few teens with each student as a chaperons, feed the kids breakfast at the school then with thier schaperones they all go on the bus for a ride to Target where each kid is set up with a $100 Target giftcard for them to spend tax free. Drive them back to school and feed the kids lunch. We were thinking it would be a blast for them. So, we decided not to let our prides keep them from a fun time. THEN, I wake up one morning to the BEST surprise I had a friend give us a $250 Amazing gift Card. Oh sweet Lord, We were blessed!! THEN, J-man filled out a card for free bikes from a local church providing bikes for the kids in our community. ALL OUR kids except Roo got one, a friend called me the other day and told me she has a tiny bike that her little one can not ride do I want it? YES! If it was not for the above we would not have Christmas. I know, do I sound like I am playing the worlds smallest violin. NOW this one will blow you away. Here it goes. I was spent on cash. Cookies, here for class parties, little cash here for more class parites etc. etc. and more etc. I was out of cash till pay day. Come on, I know some of you can relate. Little E needed a strand of 20 lights for a class project. Went to Walmart, went to Target, went to the dollar store, and by the time I found out where to get the lights. Cash out. So needless to say I knew little E would go to school without his 20 strand of lights. I began to pray, let me back up. Little E has big faith, BIG faith in me, to supply his needs. THIS was so hard to work on, I was so sad I would let him down, he had been waiting for the lights. So, this is why I began to pray. Lord, just $10 bucks till Friday, PLEASE! The day passed, well I was waiting for a refund check, or you know some kind of rebate in the mail...nothing. Little E was just going to have to be disappointed. We went to dinner at my folks, My mom is so awesome she has us come over for dinner once a week. Gives me a night off. We come home and see a tree on our door step. We were not expecting a tree. We brought the tree inside and saw it was loaded with gift cards. OUR kids were ecstatic! $250 in Gift Certificates for Groceries and Walmart. Here is the best part. On the tree and I told no one about the lights there were two strands of 20 lights. ON THE TREE! SO, We get to shop for fun things for the kids AND get our Christmas dinner supplies AND little E will get his strand of lights. Did I mention my parents GAVE me their van?! Yes. They upgraded and decided to give us the title of their minivan. We are now the proud owners of two cash cars!
I checked with Chief about writing this post, he is the provider and I never want him to feel like he doesn't provide for us or can not. We are in a sticky situation and really praying and seeking a way out. For now, this is the situation we are in, we are trying to make the best of it, while staying out of dept and working on being content with where God has us at the moment (forced smile.) He knows I believe in him as the provider and that I cherish his hard work. He also knows that the Lord provides through his people. He uses and has used us plenty of times as a vehicle in those provisions and sometimes we become the recipient of that provision. Friends, this is just the beauty of the body! Merry Christmas. I know we are having one! Praying that next year things may look diffrent and we can be the ones blessing you!
In many Christmas past as in BA (Before Africa) Christmas was a mad rush to get the perfect gift for every single person on my list. Most importantly my children. I raced in all of the Black Fridays crazy made houses to get that gift at %60 off retail. I have it down to a science, going a few days to scout out a map,yes I said map, wearing the right runnners, and filling the pockets with power bars, to eat while I run the masses over for the mad dash to that one gift I HAD to get. I will even share that I would buy extra on these shopping spree times just cause it was a good deal. My kids did not need 6 lego sets per child, but it was buy one get one, so it went into the closet for extra. Birthday parties we attend in the year and so forth. Chief and I would outdo ourselves with something super nice. Ipods, clothes, nice things. Then we went to Africa.
It changed our perspective on everything. The over excess of our country. The obsessions we have of needing to make things perfect. The insane amount of dept one can establish in the mad "need". Its insanity. Then we came to Georgia. Living in excess was not a choice any longer, it has become a reality and fact of life. I No longer had the "choice" to simplify Christmas. Its a necessity for us, and that changes our perspective even more. When you make a choice to give up on excess, you have the choice, you feel good about it, because if you decided to forgo that choice you have the choice to. When you do not have a choice, its a different ball of wax. It just is.
So this Christmas we are learning so much about the in depth true meaning or what Christmas is. We have nothing to give, we have EVERYTHING to give, we have our hearts for Christ and our family. Our children have been forewarned that this will be a very different Christmas. I am not sure if you can see the photo above its a letter our son who is 11 wrote to Santa. We believe he knows the truth, but there are times when he still writes to Santa, and hides it so we can never find it. I don't find it till after Christmas, this time, I was lucky it was tucked behind a log in the fireplace, I moved the log because it was bugging me that it was out of place. Notice #2 on his want list. I think he gets it. Love that kid! Merry Christmas !
I posted this photo on Facebook with a post that said "Doesn't this make you want to curl up with a good book and a bowl of chili!" To which Chief (who is my FB friend :) responded "No, it makes me think of how much we are spending on heat!"..... "Perception"
Your perception of God shapes your reality. a.w. Tozer
My perception has really sucked lately, being that it has sucked the life out of what the reality is. Reality is that My God is Awesome, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Holy, a Mighty Provider.
My perception for the last year has me walking around with the reality that I feel God forgot about me, that life sucks and maybe its what I deserve, I am a sucky person. I have too many freckles, and my belly looks like I am now carrying a baby kangaroo (I AM not, just sayin) And in this season of Christmas when our budget is super tight (like one gift per child, tight~) and everything cost money, parties, kids school celebration etc... It has sucked the life out of reality of who God IS.
It has shaped and morphed me into moping around feeling totally sorry for myself, I KNOW BETTER.
I have been a Christian for a LOOONNGGG time. Yet I have allowed my perception to shape what my view of God has been. When I see God in this view guess what happens to my days, my attitude, my perspective....you got it...it stinks. Heard this quote yesterday and it gave me a sharp pain to the pit of my stomach, convicted.
* NO MAS, no more can I allow these thoughts to shape me. I can not also let my reality of my circumstances to shape my perception of God. There is truth, I know where to find it.
Let's be done Nat. Say it with me NO MAS NO MAS NO MAS!
Got to spend five days with Chief's mom and dad/my other parents! Five days to short, but we had a lot of catch up too do. They came with a super duper make me smile gift from my SIL Cindy, my very own delish pumpkin roll. Have you ever had a pumpkin roll, utter deliciousness Made my Holiday!
Did some antiquing at some Southern stores. They feel in love with the Southern accents and the Southern hospitality. These guys got some father son time.
Lots of grandparent time! (notice the pose of one of my tribal children that one hails from Washington state!)
Sweet moments together ended much to soon. Come back Grandparents, we miss you!
I have been a mom for 11 years a wife for almost 14 (this month!) For these years I have been devoted to my family and when side tracked the Lord has gently/sometimes not so gently brought me back to the base home. Early before kids Chief and I decided together that we really wanted me to be home with the kids, I took on some part time here and there. For the most part I was a stay at home mom/wife. Molding my children making my family. Figuring it out. I do not regret not for one minute the choice of being home with them. It was amazing to wake up to tiny feet sticking out of the bars of the crib, and snuggle with babies in footed PJs. Oh I could do it again and again! In the midst of it, there was so much of a fight in me, a fight to overcome the perfect stay at home mom/wife.
I took countless Bible studies where we read devotional books upon books on how to accomplish just that. Lead/and participated discussions on what a Proverbs woman embodied, and how to achieve it. At my bedside table there was always a plethora of "How to" be the better mom/wife help books. I would attain said goals for a few days, be so excited with it and then tear myself down inside when it was not to the standard that I knew was expected of me, by my own standard directed from these how to books. I remember Chief saying to me countless times "are you trying a new how to book?" Do not get me wrong there are plenty of great books out there on how to enjoy/embark/entertain/embody/ this ideal womanhood. Its when we cling to them as truth instead of right from the WORD itself where it becomes unhealthy.
What good was it to be at home with my children when I would be grumpy with them because of the guilt I felt of not cleaning up the home, cooking the great dinner, and then to top it off the guilt I felt because I was short with them at the end of the day. And still trying to achieve trophy wife status (not to the world standards in shape!) but I wanted to have the house totally cleaned and dinner roasting in the oven so that when chief came home the aroma would catch him at the door. It happened many many nights. Also there were many nights that the aroma that caught him at the door was NOT a meal waiting for him at the door but maybe a dirty diaper, I did not get to in time. It may have been a clump of messy shoes and bags and the 5:30 glare of what's for dinner lurking in the air. In those moments I felt like I failed. Then came the decision every parent has to decide home school/private/public. Then there are the friends with the opinions on what they are doing, and then there is this pressure to decided from all sides. Here is whats been on my heart lately where is the freedom in living to a standard set by man? I read this post today by Katie Orr. She wrote on her struggle on being a stay at home mom. She finished with this "I have had to let go of what the "ideal" mom looked like, and as I have it has freed me to be a better mom.
There is danger when we try to encamp in the ideal of what this Proverbs mom looks like. Yes our ministry is our home and our children and our husbands, but first and foremost our devotions in to the Lord, not to mans image of what this looks like.
I too am finding the freedom of letting this ideal go. Its made me free to be who the Lord has made me to be, Why did I not learn this 11 years ago! I would have saved my own heart from so many lies. I could have been my best friend instead of my worst enemy! DUH!
So what gives do we let it all go and become couch women that dictate orders in between commercials ;0 NO, There are clear directions of how we are to be busy at work, doers. For the grey areas, you let the Lord direct you in them, not a book, not someone else blog, or some ones opinion. You seek that between you and Christ. Woman be free. If you struggle with this "ideal" take if before Him he can free you from yourself. He always does! :)
We are coming up on our one year anniversary in Georgia. Its been the hardest year of our lives, wish that was an exaggeration. We brought two new kids home and moved across county. I have had a harder time with the latter. So have our big boys. The new kids are fine with where we are at. I think they find this more home than Washington. In this one year being away from home. We have learned:
1. God is always with us, even when we don't feel Him. Even when nothing goes well and every door is shut.
2. Your past childhood has a huge indicator of how you relate to the stress in your life. How your parents dealt with stress is more than usually how you will deal with it.HOW YOU DEAL WITH STRESS may be HOW YOUR KIDS DEAL WITH IT TOO.
3. Normal is not NORMAL.
4. Our parents do love us more than we realize.
5. Let Go. Being far from home gave me a clear perspective of the things I was holding on to, bitterness from past hurts, rejections, is really not the freedom God wants for me. It was easier to let go being far away.
6. Never purchase a home you can not afford, to buy into a bid from the lender to say they will work it out a deal with you and a year and a half later find out you owe 25,000+ more than you started with. And bullied by them to get out of your home. never again.
7. Home is not where you hang your hat! My hats are hung in Georgia and my heart is in Olympia.
8. Your finances define you more than you want them to, sadly.
9. Most people mean well, look at the heart behind it and never assume. Assume makes an ASS out of u and me.
10. My life is DEFINITELY not my own. Sometimes. Most times, I go kicking and screaming about what I want it to look like. We are far from that mark, that's not what it was to look like for my KING.
Amazing how God takes us somewhere else to teach us something about ourselves we were not seeing at face value. That sometimes means geographical that sometimes can mean in a journey being right where we are at. He will and can go to extremes to change us from the inside out. My heart hurts literally hurts because I can be so stubborn that He HAS to go to extremes to press me, refine me, JOB me, until every single breath every pore in my body every cell in my being, recognizes over and over its not about my own Glory just HIS. How about you? Are you in a classroom of faith right now being pressed until you sweat out all of your impurities of the stench of YOU? Welcome we are classmates, can I borrow a pen ;)
Its been almost a year that we have been in the South. Its a different culture here than that of little Olympia and even the city of Seattle. Let me give you a few examples. Church. There are probably more churches here than Starbucks, and McDonald's combined. YOU DO NOT NEED TO SHOP for churches they are EVERYWHERE. We love Four Points Church, we didn't even have to shop we were invited and it was love at first sight! Its a three year old church and the pastor is extremely hysterical and is dead on with the gospel. Its a little comical have you can even hold your breath in-between driving from one to another.
School. We loved our kids school in Oly. It was small we knew the families I would say its under 300. BUT, the separation of church and state was OVERLY present. I remember calling Christmas break ...well CHRISTMAS BREAK and being corrected by a teacher You mean "Winter break". Last year I walked into the kids school and was shocked to see a Christmas tree up and everyone saying Merry Christmas. I even heard some God Bless yous. It was not a big deal to everyone, it IS the culture even though they know your not suppose to its almost comical to bring it up in conversation when they hear we are from the west coast we get and we tell them how it was were we are from they giggle as in disbelief. Our kids school calender is packed with activity to gather socials are weekly. Opportunities are endless! I really like it, it would be hard to go back to the same environment after being here.
Education. Before we moved we looked at test scores parent reports class sizes etc. and picked the best district. Our kids were far behind according to the reports we got from the teachers and professionals at the new school, they were even frustrated with I think having a larger district that had more money helped have more services allowing more opportunity for the kids to learn more. Our school is a Franklin Covey school, the program believes in enabling greatness to allow your child to succeed, and teaches kids 7 habits to achieve success and become leaders. Each teacher has been trained in the steps of success. It will also become a lighthouse school the 16th in the whole world! Its been awesome to see the kids flourish and grow in an environment set up for success. Also the kids that are lacking are getting and immense amount of support all around them. IMMENSE! If a fan of their teachers, they are brilliant and truly LOVE teaching.
SPORTS: This is one I have not embraced as yet, because I do not understand AT ALL. FOOTBALL and JESUS are almost on the same level sometimes the latter gets dropped down a notch for the other. Kids are signed up for every sport under the sun and people are super busy because of sports. Football is not something they take lightly here at all. The high schools have on staff at least 8+Football coaches. Here is an example of one of our school choices this one has 12!!. At a game there will be literally thousands of people, I am not talking about a high school game either I am talking about a kids football game. Its insane. I remember having our kids in sports at the YMCA in WA and the coaches were parents just like here, but you hear "do the best you can do, its okay, next time you will get it, if you don't want to play buddy you don't have to!'' here its SO not the same you will here this on a field "YOU will win, You will Get it, YOU will not Surrender, Don't CRY, NO such thing as quitting child!" I am not kidding. Its serious stuff, don't mess.
Entertainment choices: In Olympia I remember being frustrated having to travel to Seattle or Tacoma to my favorite restaurants becuase the selection was not as vast in Oly. It has been said here you can eat out every night and NEVER eat at the same restaurant twice. There are tons of things to do for entertainment. Its Metro ATL, its a happening spot!
So an incredible difference in culture as you can see. I think If Southerners were to hang out downtown Olympia they would be culture shocked in 0 seconds flat, and visa versa. Different as Night is from Day. I STILL MISS HOME! I am still struggling with purpose here. The more we stay the more we see the benefits for our children. The more home becomes less possible, the more sad and nostalgic I become about what was. I miss my best buddies. But I keep keeping on, enjoying sunshine everyday and cooler weather, and all the above amazing things about being in the South.
Doesn't she look so tiny compared to the other kidos. Its been one month. A busy month. Birthday month and first days of schools for some. Let me start with this little one. Little Roo. Its her first time in Pre-school and we lucked out majorly with being in Georgia and having a Pre-K program. Get this its FREE but this is the one we had a hard time with she is gone all day. Its from 8:30-2:45 seriously. This is my baby girl. This baby was hand delivered to my hands and it was one of the sweetest moments of my whole life. She is growing oh so big. The first week I was home and I even cried some. The next week I began to hit the ground running searching jobs AGAIN. I found one. Its the best option right now for my kids. I sub as a Food and Nutrition Assistant in others words I sub as the school cafeteria lady without the hairy mole! Our districts has 141 schools and if there are any man down I can get a call to fill that spot. Its so difficult to get in with the school district. There are folks with teaching degrees working in the kitchen just to get in. Its been one week that I have worked straight and its been at my kids school. AWESOME. Our kids school has 750 kids so its a busy cafeteria and its makes me feel so blessed to know our kids eat from a highly sanitized kitchen ;0! My hours are great I get off at 1:30 leaving me one hour of quiet. Its been a HUGE blessing, so I am hoping they keep me busy!
Its been one year three months since I have meet these children. If you have kept with out post you will know its not been easy. For them, for us. Its been life changing to say least. I remember writing this post last year saying that you may notice small positive changes around month three. I must have had to many MIKES because the small changes came and went just as fast. BUT the ugly feelings of one girl, is seeming to be less and less intrusive to her sweet insides. She is such a different girl than last year. We are such different parents. Here is a conversation my mom overheard with her little brother.
E " I like my mom and dad, but I don't love them!" The discipline me!"
G: "Our mom and dad adopted us, they are giving us a life we never would have had in Ghana. You get to eat, you get to go to school, you get to wear clothes you have to have things, they discipline you because YOU DON"T listen. You need to have love for them!" when my mom asked G: "so what about you do you like them....
NO, I LOVE THEM!" sob.
First of all this is the first time that she has said adopted regarding herself. That SHE has been adopted. Second of all, SHE knows that discipline is because of love for a child with trauma that's HUGE. Third, she understands that she did not have the resources that she is getting here. I am not looking for a pat on the back with that last epiphany. With our previous conversations she has never really admitted the poverty level at which she was living. In our conversations her family would take her to Starbucks and purchase vast amounts of clothing for her. So, this lets me know that she is facing reality, maybe not accepting it but at least facing it. Its healthy!
Can not even begin to explain the crazy in my world today. My life at the moment seems paused. We are still in the same home rental that the landlord has been graceful with us and merciful with our sporadic plans and events. 3/4 of our items still remain in boxes. We are eating on paper plates and every day I unseal one more box. Mostly because we have no idea where we will go and what will happen. Contract is up late October so we must find a place or come to that grueling decisions of state changes once again. Meanwhile Kids are at school and the big boys just started Karate classes every day, courtesy of the grandparents. Those suckers are expensive!
We have the opportunity for our kids to attend an AMAZING school. I can not even stress how amazing the school is. The teachers and staff LOVE our kids. Gs last year teacher wanted to hang with us during summer. What teacher does that?! They know our kids they have the ability to provide many resources for them, more than the last school they were at. There are opportunities we have never had. Its seriously awesome. My folks are involved in the kids every day life. Really they take the kids to karate for me, some days my folks just come and bring us dinner. They treat us out, and treat the kids out always. Our church has some pretty cool people. They love Jesus and our pastor Brent's message is one you will not sleep to friends, he has passion for Christ and his face turns red and he sweets when he is lovingly sharing the message. AND our church meets in the gym of our kids school. I just things its awesome to be worshiping King Jesus in the same building my kids are being educated in.
Why the freak do you want to leave Natalie? I get this one a ton. Let me say that when we were brought here there were some promises or assumptions made to my husband about a certain company he represents. There were also untruths told to him regarding salary etc. We found this out a month into our stay. We found out many things. We are deflated. We feel stuck, we begin to feel hopeless. We signed a lease with the prospects of those hopes. It was looking not good, its still looking not good.
BUT we began to see the Lord move into other things. Our son who has some serious learning issues begins to read, the therapy we start him on begins to see vast improvement. Our children s education take a leap with the help of a different curriculum and resources. We see the benefits of being near my folks.
YET, the plans we had which were to suffer for just a bit to reap the benefits of career changes seemed futile. We began to accept it doesn't seem like it will change. Hopelessness sank in again. Dear Lord, I have never been on my knees this much in my life. For our situation for our Lord to come conqueror and bring Justice. Set what is wrong, right. Nothing seemed fair, everything was against us..did I say WAS because nothing in our situation has really changed. Oh and remember the IRS issues, they finally came up with a refund to us...ready for it. $147 dollars, as in the 147 orphans now they mock me!!!
BUT God in His infinite wisdom, draws us to his feet, with utter despair to seek His face.
If I could wave my magic wand, I would have my hubby right back into the position he was before. Right back into our old 70s house and into the neighborhood my kids ran bare-feet in. BUT we do not regret our move. I know crazy.. right. We have learned so much through this journey. We have relied on not our own strengths, we have no power and nothing to rely on but HIM, and the end of the rope magically gives way to more threading. We have more compassion for people. Its so easy to sit on Easy street and judge others downfalls from one perspective a different situation when you are in it elbows deep. We have learned how much we love our parents. Both sets, even if we have had our bumps in the road, they LOVE US, and want the best for ALL of us. That is priceless. Our children KNOW their grandparents. Not just a couple weeks a year or so, They KNOW them.
I guess what I miss is my old life. My own house. My old town, My buddies, the crisp air.Extra cash to do extra things with. The Starbucks spluge when I wanted, the new top I can buy. The fun Teabo Tuesdays I once planned. The stocked pantry (some days this was not so) but for the most part. It was a TON easier than this. We did make sacrifices to add more kids to the broad, but income to kids if we stuck to a budget and got rid of dept we could do it. Now a days, a different story.
So here is the prayer request:! 1. I need a job. next week all the kids will be in school until 2:30 first time in 11 years I will be alone...may I add that for 10 months I have been applying. The end.
2. Chief, to have another position so that instead of having to work I can have a little dream come true and go to school!
3. The Lord would provide a home for us to be in our school district and at our budget.
4. If he wanted us to move back home chief needs his position back.
5. Both our hearts in the situation its been truly exhausting to say the least!
If you find yourself in a challegning situation like us, If you find it utterly impossible to even begin to hope because its seems like there is no use. I promise He is WITH YOU. He has NOT LEFT you. If you are in the situation of not knowing where your next meal will come from, how you will get your child a new pair of gym shoes when yours even has holes, how the heck you will pay those stack of medical bills on the computer table next to you. You are not alone. I PROMISE there are others going through the same situation or worse. How do I know this. I am there, I am still breathing, you will make it. Do not give up the little glimpse of hope in Christ you have. HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN YOU. If you need a friend to vent to when your life seems on PAUSE shoot me an email. I can offer you prayer and the best I can is encourage you and maybe give you some ideas in your situation.
Remember when I told you I want to be where God wants me to be and I will be okay where ever he plants me. I lied. Because on Thursday chief and I had to make a HARD decision based on our circumstances. I am not one to make a decision based on circumstances I loath the cliche "when God closes a door, that was not his Will!" Simply because if that is the case, the minute any biblical hero came to a closed door, or a difficult circumstance it would have been easy to say "I suppose that's not the Lord" and walk the other way. Time and time again in scripture we are encouraged that the Lord is with us through those hard trails. That when we doubt ourselves or others point to us and say "what the heck, are you doing!?" He is there to Hold strong the course with us. If you know me, you know I never see a closed door as a NO from the Lord, but rather a challenge to stretch my faith strong.
This one has me dragging my feet. I said my good byes I was ready to reunite with my old friends and my old house. I was there, emotionally. So, when we were hit with the news of the IRS changing their mind for the fifth time we had to change course to "maybe" we can't move. I was okay with that one because I KNEW if God wanted me there, He would totally get my back on this one. We had to make a decision all of a sudden that really made me want to throw a tantrum. All the reasons of why we were moving became stronger in my mind, and one of them was the stinking humidity so I didn't even want to walk outside. That was just me. Then I had to share the news with the big boys.
Our big boys are Northwesterns BIG time. Big A asked me the other day "when is it going to rain, I am so tired of the sun!" J-man "I want to skip fall and go right into winter!"
I didn't want to make this decision.
We both called in the big greys ...okay if our parents read this there would be a smack down ;) BUT both our parents have lived journeys before us, and have wise words. Sometimes we take them, some times we don't and sometimes they were wrong ;)...most time they are right. Both sets, shared with us some wisdom. Hard to hear, but one the same token, if felt awesome to have parents who can give sound advice! Then chief made the call. We need to stay put ...for now. There are so many uncertainties with moving back. Chief does not have a job, there are no certainties that he will get something secured. There are situations with our home in Oly, to much to even share here. There are no certainties with that. I could be in the PNW without my husband and struggling to make ends meet for a Looonng time before we are united. Right now, its not wise for our preteen boy to be without a dad, and not right for our new kids to have dad not be present. Many old feelings will arise for them.
My heart HURTS. I want to be home. To be honest I don't want this to be home.
I want things to go back like they were. I want Him to tell me, just another few months Nat, just hold strong. Nothing.
Chief says focus on the positives. So I need to write them out.
1. MY FAMILY
2. KIDS LOVE THE SCHOOL
3. GREAT EDUCATION and RESOURCES
4. AMAZING CHURCH!
5. SUPER COOL FRIENDS (I need to work harder on plugging in there!)
6. DOUBLE COUPONS (I know the dumbest thing to maybe you, but here they double coupons!)
Not sure when the "doors" will be opened to go back home. I pray one day.
Oh Nelly. Let me tell you its been a week. If you are an adoptive parent that is battling with the I*romeo*S (coded so they don't come after me!) and are awaiting on the lllllllloooooooooonnnnnngggggg Refund dear one I feel your pain. I filed our taxes in Feburary followed by what would be a plethora of correspondence back and forth ,back and forth sometimes more us than them. MOST times more us than them. Every letter that came in the mail changed the last status. Need more documents, send more proof, we lost the documents you sent twice already would you resend them., send a locket of their hair and DNA too! Oh yeah right on it. For SIX MONTHS. My favorite part is this one. SO, I made a mistake on one of our new kids Social I added a 5 instead of an 8 and do you know what happens when you do this? When you mess with the socials...YOU get penalized. Yes sir a whopping $1678 penalty because they have to go in and change the dang number. So I don't bore you I will skip to the #2345 letter and phone call. Were we got an advocate to join our side and help us. She notified us a few weeks ago that the I ROMEO S will grant us our refund and waive the penalty. We were so happy because thats what our move money will come from. moving across the county is no small fee. We needed to have the money at least on its way before we took of.
Alas the phone call that really rattled me. The phone call came and this one will shock you...maybe...it did take me for a spin! The grand I*Romeo* S made a mistake. The 6th yes, its been examined SIX times said they are not going to give us what we asked, they are also not going to remove the penalty. And this week, the week that we are to get our truck in on Friday I fly next week Wen. BUT this all can change with one phone call that says. We will get nill, zero, nada. WHICH changes the game plan in a BIG way.
We would be moving in with my parents...and staying in Georgia if thats the case. We will just make things work till we get a new place.
The crazy thing is, the thing that boggles my mind. Is I have an immense peace, I can not understand but to say that this is God just giving me a peace that He will place is where he wants us no matter what. I have come to realize this is for His Glory not mine. Ruth 1:16 "Where you GO I GO!" If its here in Northwest Georgia, or far North in Pacific Northwest Washington. My contentment is in HIM, not where he places me. WOW, if you know me, thats a HUGE undertaking. Is God not amazing!!
SO...tick tock awaiting for the call. ..they have up till tomorrow.
SO thankful for Pintrest, its a site that lets you make up your own pinbords of things you like, things you want to make, want to cook. For people with borderline ADHD, its a mess! It has helped me "Pin" (pun intended totally) down my style, so I can PiNp my house! OF COURSE I will have to do plenty of this little by little when the pennies are saved. sigh.Here is whats on my Pinboard looks like as of late. You may look at more of my board here.
Scroll bellow for how the old pad looks I want to paint a wall this chalkboard color and make it a wall of Goodness. Have Psalm 23: 6 "Surely Goodness and Mercy will follow me all the days of my life" then in small computer font add statements of how good God has been to our family thus far. I may need a BIG wall ;)
The walls will be this color wheat/grey. Inspiration Emily from Jones Design
I will attempt to do this painted wall paper...don't laugh. I will try!
Have I told you I love scripture? I EAT it sing it, can't live without it. I love the way my bible smells and nothing is more calming than the pages that turn. Why not have it all over my house?!
Say Hello to this couch grey, tufted love!
Alas the ottoman I will attempt to do own my own!
Like I need a new hobby while packing...but I admit I am excited to get into my own walls so I can repaint the walls, and make it "home". I have changed my decor taste, seriously I think this happens to people every five years! My old house looks like this. There is a combo of Cottage beach and French. Don't ask it just happened. This is a 70s house we redid the floors and trimming still needs a ton of work!! But here it is.
The Kitchen CLEARLY needs updating, but until I can come up with 32,000 it will have to do! Do you see the classroom cabinets, come on...right?
This fireplace is begging for a re-do and a mantle. Should I paint that paneling white? would you?
I can do the chepo chango like painting and just change up a few things right?
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