If you have been reading my blog you have noticed perhaps theirs has been some struggle with our family dynamics, I have even held back on the real life dramas to protect my children and family, but also because I don't want others to be afraid to jump and do what God has placed in your heart by bringing a child into your home. I have to share with you the way this adoption has changed us.
This adoption has been hard work, for sure. We have two kids that have loved a home for many years, no matter what the first home looks like biology and the first bonds of life is very strong. These two miss 1st home as E calls it. Just imagine your child, your biological child having to move to another country, and they really can not grasp why. They have been taught they should be excited, that its very exciting to have a new mom or dad. However they have no way on how to deal with all these emotions and so it may come out with many different behaviors.
Chief and I had to do some research on how to help children that have been traumatized. No matter if your adoptive child has not been traumatized and had a wonderful home but had to be moved to an orphanage for poverty this alone in Traumatizing! We knew that our kids would come with old habits and ways of life they would have to be taught some Western rules and Western ways, but its also hard trying to help them keep who they are.
Older child adoption can be difficult and it has many trials BUT....You will begin to see the fruits of your labor right around month three, you will begin to see fruit!
Last night my Jr. told me he loved me, he has never used these words before! He has said that he needs me, that he wants me, that he wants me to hold him, he has suffocated me with his hugs and need to have skin contact with me. He has never used the words ''I love you'' even when I say it to him multiple times a day. He shakes his head and then there you be, that it. Last night as I was exciting the room and I whispered ''Love you so much baby!''.....those sweet oh so darling words formed out of his mouth "Mommy I love you, I love you !''. Jeepers, my heart skipped a beat or two. It did something to my heart to hear these sweet words. I didn't even want to keep going I wanted to sit and say something like "did you say you love me, do you really know what that means, do you know?''...but I just smiled and walked out and then became a puddle on the floor!
Imagine our Fathers heart when he hears us say this to Him for the first time "Abba I love you, I love you!''
Big Lesson about adoption: Hope will sprout Love!