Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Married life...Bliss...NOT ROOMATES!

So you know how our house grew from 3 kids to 5?! This summer was NUTSO!! We have a son who has not been diagnosed (correctly) yet and we are all walking on egg shells because he has gone completely off edge . Its been extremely stressful in our home to say the least bit. I wish I could say that when our children came home and completed our family that all the angels were singing a harmonious tune. It didn't happen. It's been super hard! There was always someone crying, always someone in time out or time ''in'' always someone in our space and time together as a couple whats that?! We are almost at the three month mark and things have gotten better and then worse and then so-so and then worse.
We went camping a couple weekends ago....I forgot the camera! There was a stress cloud over our family, hubbs and I were a total stress case! We both handle it differently one of us gets very grouchy, I wont say who :), and one of us has been having panic attacks, which a couple times almost landed her in the hospital :(
That was the last straw for me, something had to change in our family and STAT. The more I surrendered it to God, and prayed about it the more I felt God show me that if hubbs and I were not on solid ground as a couple then everything will fall on us, and if we are not solid on Christ as a couple then the house will collapse fast. I kept hearing "PUT YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER!"
We got back from camping emptied everything out put kids to bed and hubbs and I sat down with wine to "'chat it out''. I think he knows the ''hey...we gotta talk'' look, do you give your spouse the same look sometimes?!
I began to ask forgiveness to my hubbs for treating him like a roommate of the house. The kids became number one focus for me and one specific child took ALL my emotions and attention there was none left for my mate...at least I made it that way without even meaning to. Our conversation went well, and the next day we went to a healing room, I know sounds new agey, but the healing rooms are a ministry that allow you to come to get prayer on Tuesdays and Thursday nights in Shelton. My Bestie meet me there to watch the kiddos while they laid hands on all of us and began to pray over us and anoint us with encouraging words and we both felt completely uplifted and ready with a new goal and HOPE!
We promised each other we would be a team we would focus our energies on Christ, on each other and our family. Just in that order. We won't pass each other in the halls without making each other laugh, I will sit and watch *DUMB* shows with him instead of putting laundry away, yes I can do it in the morning! I will make sure to brush my hair and teeth before getting in bed, I will work on making our home a safe retreat, we both know because of our one child this can be impossible for this season, but we can really strive at it with all God's help. Then I began to ask the Lord what other ways I can bless my guy here are some ideas...if you have any tips, PLEASE leave a comment!

1. I will find his socks and place them in pairs instead of just put all his socks in the drawer because they drive me Koko for Cocco puffs!

2. I will sit and listen to his political views and have conversation with him about it instead of getting a haze look in my eye and pretending to loose my contact and excuse myself. (okay I only did this twice!)

3. I wont say one single thing when he leaves pots in the sink to ''soak'' them overnight.

4. I won't I repeat WONT try to throw his ugly shirts away, God knows he needs them to feel ''cozy''!

5. I will give him the chance to SLEEP IN even if I NEVER get the chance to do it, I will totally sacrifice my eyes for him.

6. I wont tease him about all the facebook games he plays or Fantasy sports (even though I explain its not a real thing :)

7. I will clean my hair off the shower walls...I know this sounds gross does anyone else do this when hair falls out from the wash you just pile it on the shower wall? Sometimes I forget to wipe it off so he comes in to a monster living on the shower wall...double gross!

The rest specials I wont share out there to the world..tehehe.
So, if you are feeling the same way with your man like you are just room mates passing by, STOP. Get your focus back in order, its hard work, but the stress levels in the house will go up and up and up until it pops and lots of hurt feelings. Together in Christ you can accomplish great things! Remember you married your best friend first, your spouse deserves much focus and consideration.


"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

AMEN! Glad you have been able to refocus! Praise God- keep it up...YEAH!!!! Praying over your household :)

motherof3brothers said...

as always...right on target God! thank you Natalie for sharing. Just the talk I needed. I am feeling like you and I need to go for coffee and sit becasue I think we are kindred spirrits.

Allison said...

I know she is controversial, but my ladies group is reading "The proper care and feeding of husbands" (http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520612) We are looking up scriptures for Biblical backup, but what she writes is dead on. Everything you just wrote is talked about in that book. I'm on chapter four now and already I've seen the error of my ways as a wife. It's changing me!! Just a suggestion. :-)

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!