Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Challenge....I laugh at you!

( this is me walking our son Hudson unto heart surgery before he passed away back in 2006)

I am that kinda gal who has a high pain tolerance. The one that can probably be one of the last ones voted off in Survivor, God just gave me that kind of personality to where I can handle the hard stuff without loosing my mind. Or maybe I already have and that's why I can handle stuff well?! Or Maybe because my faith in Christ that leads me to Him when I try to handle them myself has been a lesson taught over and over in my life.. one I keep having to re-learn again and gain.

Not sure. For some reason, I usually get the short end of the stick with challenges that are faced my way. The hardship that I have come out through my Savior has been nothing short of a miracle. Seriously.

We have faced the death of a child, two children at home one with mild special needs one with much more severe special needs and more to come our way. There are days when it seems overwhelming, and days when I know I am just surviving on a string. Lately its been the string!

We took our oldest out of school to home school him for a few months while we figured out what was going on with him. Now we have figured it out with some help of Psychologist and we have gotten together with his teacher, school psychologist and principal to come up with a plan on how he can get back to school. Many home school activist think the best place for my children are at home. I BEGG to differ. I LOVE being with my kids, its something I truly long for. However, my kids will Not get the best of me while I am trying to help them with their emotionally needs as well as educational needs. I have read tons of books on home school, and thinks its great! However for our family, for right now its not the best. He is back at school has been for three weeks and is loving friendships and doing so well. His issue was not academically its was through relationships and now that he has a few tricks he can pull out of the bag for social situations, he is handling it pretty well. I am so proud of that guy!
I am very good now at knowing what I can do great at and what will go to the back burner and all the stuff we are going through now is very good to have them with a constant schedule, something I DO NOT thrive on.
Our six year old A, is going through so much at this time. Tantrums have been in down right outrage, bathroom accidents in the actual bathroom are everyday, the words that he chooses to come out of his mouth when he is angry or even in any situation is truly jaw dropping. We have tried every I mean EVERY consequence in the book. All of them in a consistent manner, and nothing faces this little guy. We can tell He can not even handle his own emotions from his body, to see him loose it and not be happy with it is so hurtful for us to see. Or to watch the siblings get tense when he walks into the room, I know he knows, and its heartbreaking.

People on the outside are very quick to give opinions or solutions when they have no idea what is going on with this little dude. I wont lie, some days I get tense when I know he will ask a question and I have to say no.
There is a reason God gave me children with special needs, He must have know that this mama wont stand down and will fight for them. I want them to be successful to have solid relationships and feel good about the people that God is making them to be. I want them to know they are loved and they are not that different when they really look around, all have our really awkward and strange things. Normal is really strange I think!

The next thing God gave them was an awesome dad! Who loves them just as they are.
It reminds me of our Abba, he doesn't wait for us to get over a tantrum to love us, or waits for us to thinking normally to love us. He loves us exactly the way we are.

Its comical when people say God does not give you more than you can handle, really find that one is scripture friend. Its not there. Its a paraphrase from 1 Corinthians 10:13 that deals with temptation a better paraphrase would be .God would not lead you in a situation where sin is the only way out. It has nothing to do with giving you something beyond your own ability becuase why else would we even need a Savior? He does give us promises to walk with us and to carry us when our legs have given up the walk. What better way to teach us about His charcter while building ours?

Challenging life....You have meet your match because I laugh in your face. I come from a very Strong gene of strong women before me. Best of all the women before me have taught me how to bow my knees in prayer to ask for Help when we know it would be impossible to go on, to go on full on face prayer when I want to throw in the towel, to even laugh in the midst of trials.
Dios is podereso, el puede haecer todo lo que pedas. Thats my grandma's wisdom is spanish ''God is poweful, He can do anything I ask in His name!
You picked the wrong gal to deal with becuase by the Grace of Jesus I am DEALING!
So how about you are there times when you feel like you can't handle the challenges anymore? That they are too strong to even lift your head up even one more day. Friend, you were not meant to bear that cross on your own. Its not yours to carry. My Jesus is PROMSING to help you. Its his Specialty. So come all you who are heavey burned, there is rest for you! Mat:11:28


Are These Kids All Yours? said...

AMEN sister! You tell it like it is. Stand strong in God & know we are praying!!!

The Tulloss Family said...

I want to be like you...you inspire me! I praise God for you in my life to encourage me.

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!