Thursday, April 29, 2010

Hit by the God bomb

Our family has been awaiting visas for our two children from Ghana for a month an a half. The typical time frame to get a visas for adoption was five days. There has been some changes done with the American embassy and how they handle the adoption visas from here on out. Something we are hugely grateful for, because it will be great for families and orphans to know that they are fully legally rightfully able to be adoptable. However we are one of the first Guinea pigs to be going through the change. The embassy are doing an investigation when you apply for your children's visas to make sure that everything was done correctly, they even interview the birth family(s) and if there is still question they will now request a DNA. That's where we are at now, the DNA phase.
I got the call from Anita with the news that the embassy has decided to do a DNA test and that it will take 8 more weeks, I got this call on Tuesdsay. I think my speech left, yeah I think there was a two minute silence where I didn't know if I wanted to cry or scream! I felt done, beyond what I felt before, done was an understatement. I began to wonder what if the test comes back negative, what if these kids will NEVER come home? Why would God choose my family to be hit by such a loss. Why did I say Yes? Why couldn't I just be left alone and not really care about orphans? Why me?
For two days all I could do was weep, the tears that have been held back and I have remained so strong for just came, my face was leaking every few seconds. I would walk into G''s and E's room and I remember the pain of taking down my son Hudson's room when he passed away. NO Pain like that.
Then yesterday, my coordinator sent me a picture of Birth mom, she is so their mom that was so good to see for my soul! Then last night I was washing dishes and I felt very loudly in my soul and clear as day ''come to my feet child''. I hear God calling me every now and then through a pulling at my heart through a desperation of needing to just sit in His presence. Yesterday it was different.
I walked into my room and put on some worship and before you know it I was meet with an overwhelming feeling to get on my face. There on my face, my eyes close came this song. I sang it this Sunday at Church for the first time by Chris Tomlin. Its the song playing right now,
I had it on repeat over and over. My face on the floor, a flooding of His love and Mercy washed over me. Then an abundance of love for these two came over me one that I have not had Ever, I love them can't wait to see them, but I felt as if God had given me a dose of HIS love. One I could not fathom. I could not stand my face glued to the floor I was for a while my body shaking by the Love, just soaking in his Love His mercy and all the things HE has and HE will accomplish through us. He reminded me that If He is for us that Who could ever stop us, If He is for us that what can stand against? WHAT? No Embassy, No DNA, No Social Welfare. HE is AWESOME in power!
He also shared with me the redemption he has for these kids. There is a reason these children need to know that someone fought for them, someone did not give up, someone is kneeling at the feet of Jesus for them! Redemption. I felt hit by the God bomb last night. This light of the world came to my rescue yesterday to wash over me like a flood my heart is rejoicing at the opportunity to even be used by Him. He reminded me that I am just a vessel, if I am a vessel for Him then through me He can do whatever He wanted to. I am nothing if not by Him.
And then this morning something so awesome, as if being meet with the creators over abudance is not enough. My friends are at an Orphan Summit with hundreads of believers all with a love for the fatherless are gathered this weekend. My friend and her husband decided to take a seat before the morning event started.Hundreds fill the space. My Friends Kelsey and Mark find their way to a seat and they leave a seat open next to them just in case there is a person just needing one seat. A women finds her way to this open seat. My friend Kels start a conversation with her about why she is there. This women begins to share about her and her husband adopting two children from Ghana West Africa ;). To which my friend Kels says she knows a couple also adopting two from Ghana, my friend shared of our struggle with all the wait. This women stops her to say ''Are you friends the Teabo's???'' To which Kels says "YES!" This mom is a women adopting two boys I have been praying for they are in the same house as my kids! I will say the first letter just in case she doesn't want her name being shared K. K began to tell Kels about how Frank and I have been such an inspiration to them and how they have been praying for us for so long! HELLO, out of hundreds in that room God choose these two to sit right next to each other! I was so touched by this God is so Awesome! What more can I ask than to be apart of that living! What a renewing fire!


Are These Kids All Yours? said...

LOVE the God Bomb! WE felt that during our loss of Hannah Grace & Naomi Caroline.......overwhelmed us and told us- God's Love is MORE than enough, and HE ALONE can fill our voids.....Praying for you!!!

"M" and "C" said...

Natalie, it is true. You are an inspiration and God is getting all the glory because of this! We are praying for those tests to come back quickly!!! Charmaine

The Tulloss Family said...

Tears streaming down my face as I read this. Thank you, thank you Natalie for your commitment to God and to these kids. You are so encouraging to many and God is being glorified through you. I am so glad that God met you in your worship. He can love you and encourage you like no other!

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!