Monday, December 28, 2009

There will be seasons of Testing

So its been a test of faith for the last few months. One that we maybe have failed in trying to throw in the towel . Time and time again we have been asked over and over through Scripture Not to be intimidated by circumstance not to listen to the voice of well meaning Christians that tell us we may have missed the time frame of our adoption. Because Lord forbid that when you say Yes to something drastic that he has asked everything great will happen and you will see a rainbow outside your window oh and the birds must be singing and perhaps all the flowers will move with the sun. That's how you know your following Jesus! NOT!

When YOU give your heart to Him and ask HIM that you would do ANYTHING for him yet you still hold on to control by saying there is no way you can handle more. More kids, More tithing, More anything. What if He asks you to take in more kids, like he did to us? We are no saints by all means we were pushing the idea far from us. My thoughts on having kids went right to everything you can imagine. First was money. How on earth? Second emotionally, really there is so much one person can handle. With two kids with special needs my plate is full, now? Third was one that I struggled with and time and time again I am before my Kings feet ''what will other people say?''

ITS OKAY to have these questions its OKAY to run them by wise people and get Godly council. What if THE KING OF ALL KINGS says something else, something that everyone has advised you against. Do you do it still? You get down on your knees and you begg God for clarity You begg him to take this from you if He does not want it. You wait. You hear still GO and GO NOW!

The testing comes when the voices of opposition rise up and call you CRAZY, NAIVE, RADICAL, FOOLISH, DIS-CONTENT.

My favorite is that this is something I wanted so I pushed it. Don't get me wrong GOD did not force my hand to the dotted line to write our application down. The desire was burning inside me even thought I wish I could make it go away. Even though I put it on the back burner for a while the more I gave it to him the more He would give it back more. Excuse me but what person wakes up and says they are willing to take more kids in their home, when everything feels chaotic in home life? A Crazy one ;)

A test of faith, how did we do? MISERABLY I probably made a D- ! I allowed voices or lack of to be God to me to allow circumstance to be my God be questioning what I already knew God had asked us. I SUCKED! The awesome part is He still loves me wohooooo, to Be LOVED by HIM. If you can see my face I am smiling!

If God is asking you to do something outside of your self, Trust me you need to do it! If you have not asked Jesus to do anything with your life ANYTHING regardless, then you are holding on to some control and its time to LET GO! It hurts oh Lordy does it hurt. You could sit in your church pew with your nice church clothes, hang out with other Christians friends and just stay safe with both feet on the ground. OR...You can LIVE OUT LOUD. Does it mean it has to be adoption? NO, going to a mission NO. It could be inviting someone you never would be friends with to your house and having a relationship with them. It could be tithing more of your money to church beyond the %10 maybe %30, or it could be adoption. Its not for me to answer.

If you struggle with this with taking the jump to follow Him like this, I will be praying for you. You will really LOVE the feeling of Freedom!


Salzwedel Family said...

This is a great post! We have been called crazy for adopting when we are capable of having more of "our own". Living out loud for Christ isn't a rose garden, but it is soooooooo rewarding!

Amy said...

Natalie - I am just now reading this post (not sure when you posted it). Amen. and Amen again. Your passion for the Lord is so loud and clear - I am encouraged by your post and more importantly your faith. Many treasures in heaven you are storing up!!

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!