Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Adoption=Spiritual Warfare!

Many people going through adoption know that there is something that happens in the middle end and sometimes even the beginning that brings disgorgement before you. Yeah ITS HERE. Its a spiritual warfare. I am not one to give too much credit to an enemy, MY GOD IS BIGGER. However there is an enemy very much alive, very much wanting to discourage us from what is layed before us. Why would he want and Orphan to have a home a home where the kids will be encouraged to love GOD?
I struggle with if I should be very honest and share my hurts or our struggles on here. I will respect some things concerning my family and not post the details but will give you a small window of the craziness going on right now in addition to the things that I posted below. I struggle with depression and take anti-depressants there that's a Huge confession. So my sweet little dude decided to clean out my drawer and my meds were probably put away all the way in the back and so I had been taking antibiotics for the past three weeks ( they have the same looking bottle okay!) So for a few weeks straight I have been at a very low point. This weekend I spent on the couch my kids playing around me and there on the couch unable to move. I have never felt like this bad ever. I just wanted someone to come to my house open my blinds and get my but off the couch.
Yesterday we decided to take the kids on a drive there had been enough funk in my house that you can cut it with a knife. We had to escape. We have a free ticket to go see Fantasy lights and was on the freeway on the way. We began to talk about our situation and how discouraged we both are and how we would love it for Jesus to come back right now.. then, guess what happens our Van stopped on the freeway we made it to the skinny side of the road right in between a cliff and the mad dashing freeway. W were cold, scared, and shocked. Then it hit me Laughter. Like I was a mad woman in fact hubbs looked at me like I was mad. I mean seriously what else? Seriously no for real what else?
Its incredible how bad news bear can come all at one time.
Both of us at different times have gone before Him and asked what on earth are you doing. Should we have not stepped forward with this adoption. Should we have waited? These struggles are much to much to bear. WE both over and over again have received that this is what He wanted and this time. We did not want to even pick up a straw from the ground without His guidance. We have both said Yes to Him and have said No matter the cost. Right now the cost is very high to our family, not nessasarly the money for the adoption. That is not stressing us right now, He is providing for that. But the battle that goes along with it is super hard!
We find ourselves right now, vehicle-less ,very tight budget wise and a little hurt from the battle.
How will we get out of this? Only God knows. Did we say Yes for something Bigger than we could do..YES! Did we move too fast did we make a mistake? NO! I beyond a shadow feel that this is what He has asked us to do. Make no sense to anyone, join the boat :)!
We played the it could be worse game last night as we waited to be rescued. It still could be so much worse.
Adoption is not for the light hearted yeah I get that Lord. Now please pour out the blessings to our family restore what the enemy has stolen and BE OUR GOD!


Stephanie said...

I am so sorry you are going through this trial, but the enemy is scared right now and he will pull out all the stops. Stand true and God will give you the strength to endure. I understand and am praying for your family right now.

Heckert's Highway said...

Oh Nat, He will!!!! I know this!! He says He will be our shelter in times of trouble. He says we can run under the shadow of His wings and that He will fight the battles for us.

I think that is why He says for us to give Him our burdens and take His yoke. Ours are too heavy to bear and His is easy and light. I know, much easier said than done, but He wouldn't have said it if He weren't going to help us do it.

Please know that I am praying for you and and I can't wait to see how He's going to take care of this one. I'm praying for a diff. car for free, hee hee!! Why not, He is God after all. But no matter what, He does have a plan and you can bet on that!!!!

I love you my friend!!!

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

I am totally with you right in the same place- as far as being in battle! Then we read this as a family- for devotions.....Psalm 37:39-40 The salvation of the righteious comes from the Lord; He is their stronghold in time of trouble. the Lord helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in HIM.

Wish we could be there to help uplift each other! Sending you many prayers and love! :)

Kristin Jag said...

I am praying for you my friend! I have to tell you that we had parallel lives about two years ago. Our car didn't die on the side of the road, but one got broken into by a bear-seriously!!! and the other got hit parked in front of our house. We have both battled depression, but most recently me, and for sure during our adoption. I UNDERSTAND you. I KNOW how you are feeling and you are right to know that you can push through it and you are doing the right thing, but Satan is attacking. Keep fighting back. Our prayers are with you. Oh, and from one mom who has met your kids, they are definitely worth fighting for as God has mighty plans in store for them!

"M" and "C" said...

I will pray for you Natalie. I truly know how you feel and would love to chat sometime! Hang in there! Charmaine

About Us said...

We are going through the same thing now with adopting Grace. To add to it we are moving to China in a few weeks. Thanks for the encouragement.

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!