Thursday, April 9, 2009

Last day in my 20s :)

Tomorrow I achieve a milestone in my life just by being alive. I turn 30, today is my last day of being 29. I had so many hopes for my 30th. And I can say a few of these hopes has come to pass. There were many things that also happened in mys 20s that have been the breaking and the new beginning of life all together, we lost our sweet boy Hudson. God blessed us with new life through Ruby.
My very favorite breaking point which I never knew I could be free from in this life time, is my confidence in the God in me. While I was in South Africa I felt something break over me something so huge I sing in freedom. It doesn't matter what people think of me anymore, I really have been freed from the feeling of wondering if someone doesn't like me, or wondering if what I wear what I look like to someone else defines they way they think of me, wondering if the choice I make because God lead me there will be a wedge in relationships. For once in my life I DON'T CARE, and I can not tell you how freeing that is to say! Its not in Rebellion, its in the way where I feel like that is not a stronghold over me. It has scared relationships for me and has been a nightmare for so long and a constant bondage. I found my bestest friend in all of life, I love having friends, but my friends for so long defined my worth, and when God used a time of friend fasting for me, which was so hard SO HARD, he brought some sweet heart friends that remain close to day. Oh I so hope to not forget this lesson.
My life from the 30+ will be to please my Lord what else could matter?

Lesson#2. My life is not my own. I finally get that now, my hands are wide open with any possibility that God has for us, I find this much more freeing than stressing about the unknowns. God showed us this when no amount of prayer and supplication could heal our son, it was not in my control. God did not cause death but he used Hudson's life to show us so may things that we needed to change and that our lives do not belong to us at all! This also means I can not hold on to anything not even my husband or children. They also belong to God first.

There are many other lessons I continue to learn each day, ones I am not so found of and ones I am just like BRING IT!

I have created a ''bucket list'' cause you know 30s ;0 (not in order of importance)
1. Do something I have wanted to do but feared what others thought
2. Make my kids smile every day
3. Visit the Greek Isle
4. Return to my home land
5. Make a political change in government
6. Write a children's book
7. Hold children who long to be hugged (including my very own)
8. Take a stand for injustice
9. Become a photographer and perhaps a photo-journalist
10. Raise compassionate children
11. Become an ambassador (big one I know but a girl can dream :)
12. Save a life
13. Spend an afternoon at Beth Moores house drinking tea by her outside fireplace (its my list!!)
14. Have a family member or friend other than my husband travel to Africa with me
15. Unite a family, find a family for a child on the wait list
16. See the great wall of China
17. learn a foreign languor other than Spanish and Zulu ( I half speak Zulu just ask my South African friends :)
18. Inspire someone
19. Become a hero for my kids
20. Take my kids on a mission trip
21. Start an Orphan Ministry sponsored by a supporting church
22. Go to a ball game with my dad
23. Visit my English heritage (%25 my maiden last name was Whitehead :)
24. Become really good at Acoustic guitar
25. Take the kids to Disney
26. Go on a Hike/camping weekend with just girls! Girl power ;)
27. Invent something and have it patent
28. Free Card
29. Free Card
30. Free card
:) I gave myself 3 free cards for spontaneous things. We will see which ones of my wishes can come true.

6 comments:

Lindsey said...

You're awesome. Happy Birthday. 30's are great. I love you!

Lisa said...

happy birthday nat.

i'm so thankful god brought our lives together.

you would be amazed at how many things on your bucket list that i think you've already done.

p.s. still can't believe how fast you picked up zulu! :)

love you xoxo

Heckert's Highway said...

Happy birthday my sweet friend!!!! I love your list and would like to join you on most of them. Especially the tea with Beth Moore. It really is like seeing an old friend every time her video is turned on. I could swear that she was my big sister in another life, lol!!
I love the woman you have become and I would encourage you to embrace your thirties with all of your heart. I don't think I did until recently...now, I think I've learned that it really is a great time of life. I like who I'm becoming too. And the thirties bring way lest reservations about who you are, and more enjoyment of life without all of the hang ups we have in our twenties. Here's to God being awesome and making us into the beautiful daughters that we are!!!
I love you my friend!!!
Jenn

The Gresham Clan said...

Happy Birthday!! I love the 30's - it only gets better :)!

The Tulloss Family said...

You are one ambitious chica! I'm so glad I know you.

I WOULD GATHER CHILDREN said...

I'd dare to say you have #18 already covered on your list...
smiles,
jen in mi

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