Monday, December 28, 2009

Court Passed. WOOP WOOP!

On Christmas EVE we got the best news!! These are our new babies :)! Meet G and E. G is going to be 8 she is so darn sweet I cant wait to wrap my arms around this child, and E those cute cheeks he is 4. I have heard that he is just a clown! They are from Ghana. That takes the Teabo Tribe to 5 kids, seriously ;0!
What now? We wait again, for our adoption decree for our 1600, for our visas. Hmm, I am thinking maybe March? My oldest son who is 9 and on of my besties will be traveling with me to go pick them up.
How does it feel , AWESOME! I'm in awe that God choose us, this crazy family!
I have the best buddies to celebrate with us its been so wonderful to have all the love and support of so many! I love you guys!

There will be seasons of Testing

So its been a test of faith for the last few months. One that we maybe have failed in trying to throw in the towel . Time and time again we have been asked over and over through Scripture Not to be intimidated by circumstance not to listen to the voice of well meaning Christians that tell us we may have missed the time frame of our adoption. Because Lord forbid that when you say Yes to something drastic that he has asked everything great will happen and you will see a rainbow outside your window oh and the birds must be singing and perhaps all the flowers will move with the sun. That's how you know your following Jesus! NOT!

When YOU give your heart to Him and ask HIM that you would do ANYTHING for him yet you still hold on to control by saying there is no way you can handle more. More kids, More tithing, More anything. What if He asks you to take in more kids, like he did to us? We are no saints by all means we were pushing the idea far from us. My thoughts on having kids went right to everything you can imagine. First was money. How on earth? Second emotionally, really there is so much one person can handle. With two kids with special needs my plate is full, now? Third was one that I struggled with and time and time again I am before my Kings feet ''what will other people say?''

ITS OKAY to have these questions its OKAY to run them by wise people and get Godly council. What if THE KING OF ALL KINGS says something else, something that everyone has advised you against. Do you do it still? You get down on your knees and you begg God for clarity You begg him to take this from you if He does not want it. You wait. You hear still GO and GO NOW!

The testing comes when the voices of opposition rise up and call you CRAZY, NAIVE, RADICAL, FOOLISH, DIS-CONTENT.

My favorite is that this is something I wanted so I pushed it. Don't get me wrong GOD did not force my hand to the dotted line to write our application down. The desire was burning inside me even thought I wish I could make it go away. Even though I put it on the back burner for a while the more I gave it to him the more He would give it back more. Excuse me but what person wakes up and says they are willing to take more kids in their home, when everything feels chaotic in home life? A Crazy one ;)

A test of faith, how did we do? MISERABLY I probably made a D- ! I allowed voices or lack of to be God to me to allow circumstance to be my God be questioning what I already knew God had asked us. I SUCKED! The awesome part is He still loves me wohooooo, to Be LOVED by HIM. If you can see my face I am smiling!

If God is asking you to do something outside of your self, Trust me you need to do it! If you have not asked Jesus to do anything with your life ANYTHING regardless, then you are holding on to some control and its time to LET GO! It hurts oh Lordy does it hurt. You could sit in your church pew with your nice church clothes, hang out with other Christians friends and just stay safe with both feet on the ground. OR...You can LIVE OUT LOUD. Does it mean it has to be adoption? NO, going to a mission NO. It could be inviting someone you never would be friends with to your house and having a relationship with them. It could be tithing more of your money to church beyond the %10 maybe %30, or it could be adoption. Its not for me to answer.

If you struggle with this with taking the jump to follow Him like this, I will be praying for you. You will really LOVE the feeling of Freedom!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Adoption=Spiritual Warfare!

Many people going through adoption know that there is something that happens in the middle end and sometimes even the beginning that brings disgorgement before you. Yeah ITS HERE. Its a spiritual warfare. I am not one to give too much credit to an enemy, MY GOD IS BIGGER. However there is an enemy very much alive, very much wanting to discourage us from what is layed before us. Why would he want and Orphan to have a home a home where the kids will be encouraged to love GOD?
I struggle with if I should be very honest and share my hurts or our struggles on here. I will respect some things concerning my family and not post the details but will give you a small window of the craziness going on right now in addition to the things that I posted below. I struggle with depression and take anti-depressants there that's a Huge confession. So my sweet little dude decided to clean out my drawer and my meds were probably put away all the way in the back and so I had been taking antibiotics for the past three weeks ( they have the same looking bottle okay!) So for a few weeks straight I have been at a very low point. This weekend I spent on the couch my kids playing around me and there on the couch unable to move. I have never felt like this bad ever. I just wanted someone to come to my house open my blinds and get my but off the couch.
Yesterday we decided to take the kids on a drive there had been enough funk in my house that you can cut it with a knife. We had to escape. We have a free ticket to go see Fantasy lights and was on the freeway on the way. We began to talk about our situation and how discouraged we both are and how we would love it for Jesus to come back right now.. then, guess what happens our Van stopped on the freeway we made it to the skinny side of the road right in between a cliff and the mad dashing freeway. W were cold, scared, and shocked. Then it hit me Laughter. Like I was a mad woman in fact hubbs looked at me like I was mad. I mean seriously what else? Seriously no for real what else?
Its incredible how bad news bear can come all at one time.
Both of us at different times have gone before Him and asked what on earth are you doing. Should we have not stepped forward with this adoption. Should we have waited? These struggles are much to much to bear. WE both over and over again have received that this is what He wanted and this time. We did not want to even pick up a straw from the ground without His guidance. We have both said Yes to Him and have said No matter the cost. Right now the cost is very high to our family, not nessasarly the money for the adoption. That is not stressing us right now, He is providing for that. But the battle that goes along with it is super hard!
We find ourselves right now, vehicle-less ,very tight budget wise and a little hurt from the battle.
How will we get out of this? Only God knows. Did we say Yes for something Bigger than we could do..YES! Did we move too fast did we make a mistake? NO! I beyond a shadow feel that this is what He has asked us to do. Make no sense to anyone, join the boat :)!
We played the it could be worse game last night as we waited to be rescued. It still could be so much worse.
Adoption is not for the light hearted yeah I get that Lord. Now please pour out the blessings to our family restore what the enemy has stolen and BE OUR GOD!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

All around bad couple of weeks!!

I know my last post I was on a everything is going awesome high and now not so much. We are seriously struggling with some things. This one will be completely open because I have found with the couple of people I have shared this heart with they have also felt just the same. I struggle with feeling lonely. I know what your thinking you think and I do have some really awesome close friends (I DO!) however I find myself longing for community. Before Africa, I was selfish I wanted to be the popular girl that everyone wanted around because I was so funny! Well I am... funny that is! I wanted a bigger house (got it), wanted and felt like people should respect me and I shared my hurts openly if you did hurt me you would know about it. YUCK, that girl right now is so far from who I am today. Today even though I am 100% different the same feelings come back wanting to be wanted, wanting to be loved wanting the community of people surrounded that I long for. So this is what my community looks like don't laugh. People that go to each others houses for dinner about once a week, laugh, take care of one another needs, have family bon fires, and there is no yucky stuff. Like competition or wondering if you and so and so are still friends because all of a sudden there is some odd distance and your left wondering what your last words were to them, beating yourself up about what it was that you could have said. I hate that!
Oh did I mention my small community also does themed dinners? Yeah, anyone want to join? :) The sad part is that everyone (us too) are so darn busy that community gets tossed aside and sometimes one way or another we all feel the distance feeling of being all alone even within a community.
#2. I am numbering my issues: MY BOYS!
They were both diagnosed with Sensory Processing disorder the beginning of the year. We have been in therapy and my youngest has gotten worse. Tantrums are longer than 10 minutes and they become very violent in rage and very uncontrolled their are a few other things but we are beginning to think there is something else. We have gone to a Nutritionist, Neurologist and now a Psychiatrist We are sticking with the psychiatrist I think we will get our help there. But in the meanwhile its like walking on egg shells and its not fun not for him and not for us. But we are choosing to just lift him up in prayer and keep up treatment.
Boy number 1 is going through some Major social things as well, I can not share on the blog I want to respect him, but its VERY hard to see him go through. We believe he has so much hurt from loosing his little brother that comes out every know and then and right now its really popping its head. It can be and is very draining at times.
3. BILLS!! Yeah so I need two root canals done guess how much I will have to pay no guess really....$1000 ouch. They were first telling me it will be 4000 and I about passed out. SO I have separated one tooth at this month and one tooth next year (January) to maximize the medical benefits. They just keep piling in seriously!

Silver Linings:
1. Found out that I am not the only one feeling the loneliness its out there!
2. My Boys are healthy they have healthy hearts and lungs that's amazing right there!
3. God has brought us some amazing supporters this month for our adoption so we are able to but it in savings for our travel!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

All around great couple of weeks

You ever have a week that's just plain terrible nothing good happens that week and so you are searching to find the sun through the clouds extra harder? These two weeks have been so amazing, I am guarding for the bad like looking for the black cat, cause maybe its to good.
So here are a few awesomeness from the week last week:
1. Got a call from our kids in Ghana! You read that right! My friend Darren who I meet his family through face book was on a trip to Ghana working with orphanages and trying to involve churches to foster care, great things. He told me he would be visiting the kids house in Accra. Then on Wednesday at 4:30 am he called because he was right next to them and but them on the phone.
I remember my heart stopping when I heard my friend say ''They are calling you Mom and Dad!''
Then I hear this little voice ''Ello mammi ello daddy, God Bless you, I love you mammi daddy'' this was both their voices to us. We didn't say much to them we knew it was fast and we had to get off really soon.
2. Got pictures from our kids opening the welcome bags we sent them with our T-shirts.
Priceless look on there faces, pure bliss! This was the day they told them there wait for a family is over.
3. Got a nice card in the mail with a donation for our adoption. This is huge to me, because I know how hard it is now a days to give financially but this family gave in faith and we are so blow away by that.
4. We got a confirmed that my husbands adoption fund for work will not change so that means that more than half our adoption expenses that mean we only need to raise about 4,500-5,000 for travel that's all!! Okay that's not at all including the cost of the kids rooms and wardrobe but Good will baby! The adoption fund at his work was something we were concerned with because we didn't know if they would change things for the following year because they are changing many benefits so we were so scared this was going to affect our adoption. They way it works is we have to spend it first and then when the adoption is final they we submit documents and wait.
5. We got our kids passports normally this can slow down the Ghana adoption process by months two families I know have had to wait from February or March till October for passports. So this is HUGE!
6. I got to win something huge. I never win anything! A friend tipped me off on this amazing photographer and I was just captured so much by her writing and her images that I read her photography blog up and down and sideways :). I noticed she and her husband put on conferences around the states to help women find there confidence behind the lens I read all about the conference and decided I want to go, I have to! Then I added it the cart, but noticed the price tag (so worth it!) however I could not fork out the money at this time at all. Bummed, I kept reading and one day I saw a post on her blog about nominating a mom running on empty and this mom could go for FREE to the conference. Hmm..ME! I will nominate myself its a long shot. Many of you wrote very touching things about me as well. And I WON! I get to go this weekend and partake in a teaching conference with other wonderful photographers and get to meet MeRa herself. I cant even wait!! The best part we get to do real live photoshoots, WAhOO!

Monday, November 2, 2009

New venture

I am excited to announce my new venture on my new found love, photography. I have practiced and attended classes and now I am ready to put my camera to good use. If you are in the Olympia area look at my photography blog I would love to capture your family being you!
We are calling it Ruby Love photography (go figure!)

Friday, October 30, 2009

The paper work is all done...and in Ghana right now!

I know what this looks like he is so annoyed, Yes he was because there are tons of things to sign when you are doing your adoption paperwork.
Sign here and here and here and there and don't forget here.

And this is what my face looks like with some of the questions. I am happy to report. That our dossier was hand delivered to Ghana by a wonderful adoptive family. So we have a huge weight lifted. Next week the kids are also notified they have a family for them. They will get a package also hand delivered by a family that has small toys we all picked for them as a family and a letter telling them about us along with a photo album and two new shirts. Scroll down to see them. We are excited to hurry up and wait again. This can take a few months. We don't even think about the kids coming home until almost the beginning of the summer. Ahh the wait.

Teabo Trouble and Terrific things too

Seems like life happens so fast I hardly get a chance to document the terrible and terrific things so here are a few from our week....Terrible: Our little stinker six year old rode in an ambulance with me, after slicing his finger pretty bad. He had snuck knife from my cutting board to cut a tree. Yes we have told him 100xs do not play with knife you will take your finger off....this is my kid that just has to learn the very hard way!
Terrific: Ruby and I baked our first loaf of bread. This is huge for me I spend so many hours in my grandmothers kitchen and wanted girls to help this way to. Its silly but I love it!

Terrific: My son reads a book a day. I have to shrug his shoulders to get him out of book world to come eat. This was in his back back the other day yes...all of it!

Terrific:We sent out our packages to our Ghanaian kids. They packages well let them know they have a family waiting for them. They will be hand delivered next week, then they will know.

Terrific: We lost two teeth in the same week. Love the toothless grins!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Adoption-Not for the faint of heart

I have heard people say this before and I even googled this phrase to see what will come up. I have read blogs on my google search as well as quotes that share the joys as well as the hardships of adoption. Seriously what does this phrase even mean?

What has been the biggest hardship this far? I'm gonna say the reaction we get when we tell some families and just a few friends (really most of our friends the ones that really know us know this is God, a few family members as know who you are!)

Its been challenging to get the sighs on the phone or the lack of support by just being silent. When we got our referral I wanted to shout it from the roof tops and share it with everyone, yet I didn't feel like that would be the case with a few. God has shown me time and time again that I do not need the approval of others in what He has called us to do. He told us He has things for us that people would think we have lost our minds. I'm sure some do.

A few months ago I was struggling with what I knew God was asking and what I knew people would say or not say and that we probably would not get a pat on the back from every single person we told.

He also showed me the sin in that desire to need that from people. The more I pushed away the feeling and command He has for us, the more I had turmoil in my heart an unsettling.

Someone asked me if perhaps it could be discontent in just being happy with what I have three kids . To which I began to pray about and He began to reveal to me that I will never get a peace in my heart until I jumped out in faith to what He has. WE DID, still with tons of fear or the unknown.

The greatest joy so far?

But today hands down I know we are in His will right in the center. I feel joyful even when discouragement may be at my gate. I feel thrilled that My Father is pleased with me! I know that on the other end of the earth two kids that pray for a family is getting their sweet prayers answered by a loving God. A big joy, that my children at home are learning the Fathers heart for Orphans as our family is an example of His hands and feet to answer the call. They get to see parents who walk in Gods way regardless of what others say and regardless of the cost.

Friday, October 9, 2009

God and His Perfect Timing!!

Reading a post I wrote back in February of 2008 its amazing to see where God has taken us from that still small whisper to a loud beckoning to where we are right now. With our first few steps of obedience, He has brought us to Africa again and again. I look back at that time frame when there was that nudging that we are not done if Africa. February 2008 ,where were the kids lives at this time G (our now 7 year old from Ghana) just turned 5 in that month and E (new son who is now 3) was just turned a year. God had already been at work in a heart seas away that would one day learn about them.
I sit here and think...I could have pushed that desire or yearning out of my life. Because I was a busy mom (HELLO I AM A BUSY MOM!) I could have said let the missionaries take care of this, my husband could have sent me to fly a kite. There were time trust me I thought I had gone insane! At that moment we didn't know God would grow our family by two more, we just knew He wanted us to still be praying for Africa and for me to be involved with something somewhere.

That yearning lead me to a trip in December of 2008 to South Africa, our kids were already at E House the orphanage. The trip to Africa lead me to an open heart to adoption outside of Ethiopia. We started looking at other countries that lead us to Rwanda, Rwanda lead us to the possibilities of siblings when we were praying about a sibling set of three girls that fell big time through the cracks. That lead us to Ghana that lead us to the kids we will have joining the family.
Why didn't God just say ''HELLO YOUR KIDS ARE IN GHANA?" Why all the chess moves as I like to call it. Why the side roads and not the straight path?
The same day I started looking at photos of the kids in E house Ghana (August 6)I happened to see this little chubby cheeked face child that I acquired about and Anita the Ghana Coordinator for AAI said Oh they became available today! They? Then she began to tell me a little bit about his older sister. I did not want to even get my heart out there again to fall in love with kids that would not be mine...not thanks not again!
As I look back at the kids that I thought were ours Themba from South Africa, the loli-pop girls from Rwanda, I see God had me praying for them because He has other plans for them and I was a mothers heart pouring out prayers for them fervently when maybe no one else was or maybe not as mothers heart.
Why the kids just became available that same day I found that sweet face and they were there for a while, I don't know I am just amazed at God and His timing.
The kids had been placed on the waiting kids list because the other parents waiting on referrals the ages did not fit well for thier family. We could not place a ''hold'' on them until our home study was written and approved, it was a nice short wait ;)! But I had peace, that God knew and He would grow my heart fonder of these children, He so did!

Is it just me or does this just knock your sock off! It sure does me! I LOVE YOU JESUS!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

We said YES!

I am incredibly nervous and so excited all at the same time the feeling you get when you board the airplane to see a friend or family member that you have not in a long time. That butterfly in the tummy feeling.

We said yes this morning to parent two kids from Ghana West Africa. We get to be their mommy and daddy. Their story we will keep quiet about because its theirs to share one day. They are brother and sister. Our little girl is 7 and she just has great eyebrows and is just tender and sweet looking. Our son is 3 will 4 in November and has some chubby cheeks we have had people tell us he looks like our son A with he checks and facial expressions.

It seems so surreal, because international adoption is so unpredictable we didn't want to tell anyone about them until we knew for sure that we were going to pursue them but we found out about them early August and began to pray that the Lord would open a way if those are our children if not that he would erase them from my mind. Guess what I had a total peace to just live our lives and it was not an overwhelming feeling I did not obsess over them. I just put it right before GOD and left it there.

He brought it back just in time our home study was completed and approved and they were on the waiting list and we knew after reading about them they should be in our family.

You know how people say they know that those kids are theirs right when they see them. I saw picture of the kids back in August and for me it was not that way. Not that they are not cute they are adorable and sweet. I just didn't want my heart to be crushed in the way it has been these few months by seeing kids on the waiting list and saying yes to them to find out we could not adopt them.

Always still possible but I have to TRUST this is God and He is good to us always.
Still today as I sit at the computer in awe of what HE is trusting Him for, I still wonder how on earth He will provide for this one. To me the number seems like a huge mountain. It can be very discouraging to look at and even weight out, however I can not deny His goodness.
ps. Remember the miracle we were asking for about our house that God would sell it or do something big with our mortgage. Well okay He didn't pay it all off. But we got a modification (meaning the changed our loan for free and for the life of the loan) and are saving close to 500 bucks a month. Hello Miracle in my book ;0!

Friday, October 2, 2009

2 boys Birthdays 9 and 6

Our boys turned 6 and 9 last year. Time is going oh much to fast! My nine year old is such a brilliant kid. He is the one pictured above in the yellow. He is our future business owner he says its in his mind constantly how we can see something and wonder how much people will pay for it.
Its really interesting to see his mind work up some ideas last week he made a candy stand and sold 9 dollar worth of candy with the neighbor kids, he was at a 3 dollar loss so we chatted about gains and losses, great lesson.

My six year old is a story teller, I don't think I got the right story yet of how school has been so far. He makes up very interesting stories such as on the first day of school he said his principal spanked him so much he got ringworm and they took the kindergartners on a field trip to Fort Lewis to teach them about bazookas. Today he saved his whole class from a fire. Yet there was no call from the teacher to report such a trauma!

Loves these boys!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Adoption is not glamorous

My next prayer is that the kids we will have join our family would be full orphans. I know that sounds terrible to pray for, however the pain of having your child leave your side for America must be heart wrenching. We think about Ruby s birth mom every day and the day that we left her with her daughter she was full aware that her baby was going to be raised by us that was a big concern for me. That 1. this was her last option not her only one and that 2.she was full aware of what was going on.
Still I don't feel very noble about it no matter how beautiful adoption is and can be. The heart wrenching side is that a mother that loves her daughter and would give her all she could but cant because of money has to say good-bye to her over and over.
Frank and I have this discussion very often. I know that the agency we worked with have two counseling sessions with the families to offer other resources and support, and that the birth mom did have to show up to court twice. So I don't feel like we took a child from her mothers arms without her really thinking about this or being offered more options. I don't believe that adoption is the answer to all these orphans because there are many called orphans who still have a mom or dad but the parents could no longer care for them and had to give them up does this make them terrible? Heck no! YES we can adopt those that are full orphans but if there are ways for these kids to stay in the culture with their own moms and dads that is the better option in my view. So as much as I am an advocate for adoption I am even more an advocate for care where the children do not need to be given up for lack of a better choice.

Adoption is not glamorous, there is a breaking heart by the families that need to give up thier nephews and nieces, grandchildren or sons and daughters. There are millions of orphans the ones that have no one, for their family have died. Being adopted is a must if they will survive there are no options no foster care set up for them. They will perish unless brought to a home that can care for them or adopted.
There is also a breaking heart for the child that comes into a different culture even if its cleaner, more comfortable and flourishing. There is still a hole left.
Ruby is the most confident two year old I have ever met. She is extremely social, sweet , compassionate, loving, and kind, these are just a few. However she has yet to fully understand even though we pray for her every day that I am not her birth mother. I am her mother and I will always be but she does have two. I am not sure how this would affect her in the future and I am not threatened by the fact that she may one day need to return to her mothers land. I hope she does.
So if you are reading this today and are adopting or hoping to adopt I am not in anyways discouraging you, this is just a fact of adoption I hope that you understand and are able to let your children grieve when needed. And understand that there is also this side of it.

Home Study-Check

This week we had a bit of a busy week. Stomach flu and two visit to the ER for our 5 year old Aidan. That didn't stop us from the home study. To be honest we thought things were on the upside until we woke up that morning of our home study and went oh no, what do we do.
This home study was far less scary the second time around and this time I didn't scrub the toilets ;)The house was clean well beside full of bugs from the sickies! It was for us the big wow we are doing this. God is good.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

3603.37 all in by this morning!

Not bad for my Jesus, ey?
Our goal has been meet and its awesome is that. Any extras of course goes right to the adoption expenses but we just had out first goal to continue. Now we can!! WAHOOOO!
I have been contacted by so many families in the same boat. They want to adopt they want to with all there little hearts but no money. I need to tell you if you are in this boat, jump! Sometimes God wants to see your faith when you don't have what it takes. How can I get the Glory for this one? I cant!
Okay here is another resource for a friend I just meet yesterday I can tell his heart is all about Orphan care and adoption, Rob and his wife Emily have a coffee roasting company called Just Love Coffee Roasters and have an adoption program that helps by setting an online store for you to share with others to buy coffee every bag someone buys $5 bucks goes into an adoption account! That EASY! Just imagine you sell 100 bags of coffee you get $500!!
I am humbled by this I hate asking people for money. HATE it. But I didn't have becuase I didn't ask.
Gotta put a little plug for our foster system too people I you feel lead there...its free ;)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Almost at the goal...almost !

As I sit here waiting for the clock to strike midnight I am in awe of how Gods spirit can move peoples hearts for Orphans and for them to be united with a family even if you don't know us! Friends have facebooked/twitted all day and most of you that have done this are just facebook friends with a common goal and heart I have never shook your hands before.
Here is where our goal started out at this morning 3600
this is where we sit right now......$3084.62 ohhh so close! Let see if it happens?

Who are the Teabo Tribe?

Welcome Facebook and Twitter fans!
We are a family of three one little girl who joined us through the awesome gift of Adoption from Ethiopia two years ago. We are crazy in Love with Gods command on taking care of the Orphans so much so we are wanting to do it all over again.

Our Needs are right now for $3600 this covers the first fees of a home study and agency fees.

You can read more about our journey if you scroll down. We are not a special family by any means we are your common middle class family that lives very modest lives. We do know that God has placed this on our hearts and believe that when He calls He also provides!

If you feel lead push the Donate Button on the right we would love to share this journey with you!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Help us Help them!

If you are reading this blog for the first time WELCOME To the Tribe! We have a journey behind us and one set before us. We have our application with our contracts at hand for our Ghana adoption. We have no money to send in its not so funny but as I write I have no choice but to laugh at myself. What on earth Nat?!
There are so many things riding on the hand of God right now. Our house if it will sell or not. Our adoption if it will happen or not. When we went to adopt Ruby we had the most of the money upfront in our savings so even though the last pennies we had to search (pray for!) for travel and we traveled in the wrong time (Ethiopian New Year) so our tickets were a whooping 6000+ ouchie! It still was not so much of a faith walk as it is right now. SERIOUSLY.

This is my conversation with God "Lord remove this heart from me if you don't want this for us right now, Help me to just have a peace about not moving forward!'' or " Drop all the $ in my lap so I know to go forward :)!'' The last step we took we didn't get any of those prayers answered we moved forward and then we got peace. The money didn't come from the sky on my lap however my hubbs got extra hours and we were able to pay the application fees ;0!

Or this one " If we went through the foster system here in our state we would have to not pay anything at all!!'' Why the heck not?! WHY AFRICA...cant we just do it here?! If that was the case I would have done it a while back, but thats not where our kids are.

Another conversation "Lord No more images of lonely African children in my mind, NO MORE tears down my face as I almost hear them asking for a family. Don't break me anymore unless you are willing to help me help them...or callous me so that I don't even shed a tear at the image of where our Ruby would be right now if her family didn't choose to bring her to the orphanage to where our family was chosen for her!''
Seriously this is my prayer and ask if it has worked?! NO FLIPPING WAY! I WISH. I go to bed at night begging that I can be normal and not worry about orphans that it would just be something that I pray about every now and then and not something that shakes me to my core when I pray. I realize that this is not me that the heart I have has been given to me because I have asked for the heart of Jesus. I ask that he would break me with the things that break him. HELLO WHAT WAS I THINKING :)! now right now at this time. We are waiting for a miracle to move forward because the other prayer about removing it from us has not worked. What are the needs specifically here it is for the moment.

$1400 for home study fees
$2200 for agency fees = $3600 ( that's all for a Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills!)

I am leaving a Pay Pal button just in case you have some kinda of warm fuzzys when you read what I am saying. If you have the what this woman is crazy feeling pray about that too ;)! Becuase I tell you if I am crazy I want to be crazy in Love with my Christ!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Three years ago....

Three years ago on this very day our 3 month old Hudson Sawyer went in for the surgery that would allow him to come home. The surgery was a procedure done dozens a day allowing a tube to go into the intestines to allow food to go into his body. We were trained by the nurses to do his full care, and had hired full staff nurses around the clock for our home. 24 hours then it would taper down to where hubbs or I would take over a shift. We didn't have time to grief what wasn't we just knew we loved this child and were going to do whatever it took to take care of him.
The surgery went well and we were told to go home to get rest.
Children's hospital is about 1.15 minutes or believe it or not I had it at 55 minutes a few times (yes speeding :) so when we went home it was for a few days. Hudson was in the ICU so this meant around the clock care we were safe.
We checked on him a few times before we went to bed as we always did. The next day he was doing fine. At about 9:30 in the evening we got a phone call from a surgeon that told us Hudson has turned for the worse. He was very sick the surgery to put in his feeding tube ended up puncturing a hole in his intestine and allowing fluid to saturate his little organs. I remember this call because I went into my closet to weep, after I heard ""Mr.s Teabo your son may not make this....he is very sick!'' Sure I had heard that your ''Fetus'' may not make it to full term. Your baby may be still born. He may not make it a few hours, he may not make it a few days...etc. He had beat the odds. Whats one more!
We battled 5 days with him and we knew his body could not take it anymore and on the 21st at 9:32 our son was welcomed by the angels and our Christ.
Grieving is never over. Its a process we will continue through life. We will never stop being sad for our sweet loss. There are most defiantly times that it hits us in ways that it feels so present as if were right there back three years ago. This week its been this way for us. Its not something that we just have to do and then let go. I am not sure if you ever do let go but just allow The Healer to comfort you in those times. Those days that a certain smell can take you right back there. The color of the walls in Ruby room remind me of the times I layed on the carpet and wept and begged for healing. The smell of hand sanitizer right there for me. When I look at my wedding ring I remember how small his hand was.
Thank you to all of our sweet friends who encompassed us with love beyond words. When I think back to those days and remember you I feel so loved.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pandemic: The Gospel Unleashed

This past weekend I attended a starting church in Mill Creek called Journey with my friend Suzi.
I went in the middle of a series the pastor was sharing with the church the series called: Pandemic: The Gospel Unleashed. I have been thinking about this tittle for some time now. What does that mean to unleash the gospel? To have no limits on our faith, no Jesus in a box, no agenda and plans of our own and unleash the full gospel of Christ. The spirit of God can not be held back, God will and does move where He wants. However I do feel as believers we can hinder that by our own fear by our own plans.
What would it look like though if we strived to unleash? To say God move in me whatever however you want. Should we be scared by our faith walk...yes! The Holy spirit in me can not sit quiet and idle by while every fiber in me wants to be scared for Jesus!
Then how come so often the church of Christ wants to sit in comfort, sit in status quo status and make sure all the right forms are filled out or things are talked about before prayed about? What are we afraid of????? Did you know that if you have to think about it you are not worthy of the gospel?! Thats not from my lips read it yourselfs." and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me" Matthew 10:38 Stings a bit but its the truth.
If my talk is scaring you right now ask yourselves why? What scares me( Im including myself with this one:) about Jumping with two feet for the Gospel to share the Love of Christ with the world?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

What the heck are the Teabos doing and all the hush stuff Reveald!

Here it is, all out in the open about adoptions and family business. It all started with a baby boy named Themba from South Africa that I fell in Love with while I was in South Africa. We had been looking at how possible it would be to add little man to the family. Then we got an email that crushed us, little dude is HIV+ and it was really advanced. Frank and I took a weekend to pray over this because having him here in the US would mean better health care for him etc. We still felt like God had asked us to say Yes, and that the door would have to shut if its not for us. The door was shut. I was broken! Same time our agency asked that we pray about a new program in Rwanda. Fell in love with a sibling set and we said Yes for them! We learned about the girls in March and were just waiting for all the paperwork on them to come in before we began ours. The door closed for them as well. I was a puddle on the floor with each door that closed why had these kids been put on my heart we said Yes to God in areas where we knew would be a growth for us financially and emotionally and we were certain even though struggled through the rational of all the logic!
It made no sense to me why these things were happening to our hearts and much more why He would call our family to say Yes to something so huge for us and then close the door. Was He testing our obedience, I didn't want any more testing! A couple weekends ago, we saw two boys on our agency's waiting list that Frank feel in love with and phoned our agency with the hopes that this would be the kids, three other families called in to them which is amazing. Our agency decided on another family, crushed again.
Through this whole time we had put the desire before him and begged for the feeling to be taken away if its not time. For us the timing was terrible because we are still trying to figure out how to sell our home and live with less to save for more :)! Still our home on the market ''just in case''!
During the waiting we placed out home on the market and begged for a miracle of sale or something bigger! I am happy to say our banks are looking at revising our home loan which would make living here possible with more mouth to feed.
Still the feeling of our kids waiting for us.. praying for us.... aching! We decided to call some other agencies that were working in Africa. Our heart is for all of Africa not just Ethiopia and we feel like there is so much awareness going on in Ethiopia, Praise God for this , but there are more countries also!
I have a friend who adopted through Adoption Advocates International I through the Ghana program and we spoke for a little while. I then called and spoke with the Coordinator and told her the story and that we were looking for siblings 7 and under. Awesome part, is the fees are half of what we were expecting! Amazing part is the home the kids are have mostly siblings and the great need is for parents looking for children 8 and under! That's us!!!

Should we do this thing? We both know were are suppose to. We both know God is asking us to jump with two feet and trust Him. Regardless of all the opposition Regardless of whats on paper, regardless of our fears. HERE WE ARE GOD! YES!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Selling=Smaller House=NO ADOPTION?

House on the market. Adoption still on the mind. Smaller home = no adoption?
Its been a hard few weeks. Because of the fact that we both feel God calling to something Big, because of the fact that the calling does not match the income, its been rough.
Its easy for God to pay off our mortgage and we can adopt all the kids the house can hold. It would just be a simple thing for him to do!
I can hear it in my own head just because He calls you to something it doesn't mean right now, doesn't mean that in the next few months we will bring some kids home or move to Africa ;) (never say never!)
For right now we feel like God asked us to sell our home. To get our home in order, that's what we are doing. We both strongly feel that we can not go into dept for an adoption. God calls and He will provide even if its a hard thing to wait. Focus has been shifted to selling, getting right before God in dept land, and saving and giving.
For me, math is a fact of life. Equations will always leave you with a sum. Right now the equation does not match sum the heart feeling. Does this change our hearts for adoption. NO.
However with other things pressing, we are waiting for two things. God to do something so huge
sell our home, or pay it off you know whatever ;0. Or for God to ease our minds on the issue of adoption for right now and that perhaps his timing is later. I am hoping that a millionaire somewhere who is an advocate for adoption pays off our mortgage with the clause that we must adopt ;) so I dream..hehe.
Out of my diary when I was 17 waiting for a miracle to happen so I can go on a mission trip with YWAM ...Sorry I keep alot of diaries!
''.....There are only a few of us that do not have money I still need $1000 by the end of the evening to go on mission otherwise I will be sent home. There is a white board with all the names of those still needing money and mine is the largest need. Maybe God wants me to stay and not go on this mission. Or maybe He will bless my socks off and show HE is GOD! The mail has come in and the others have began to open it they have gotten some checks in the mail from supporters. Me...nothing! Randy our leader has asked everyone to gather around the piano as we sing and pray for the funds to come in he decides to take an offering but we are all missionaries so not alot of money gets wiped off the board. Mine is now down 970. The day is gone by and some names have been wiped off the board I can see some people got there $ last minute mine...not a penny less. Its 8 everyones name is off. Mine still there. I was called into the office with news I can not believe a supporter called in with all the money just for me. I said is it family or a friend. None, the man doesn't even know you. Some guy called into the YWAM base and said He felt like God ask Him to give someone $970. I am beyond in Love with My Jesus for this rescue!''

So I have seen Him do awesome things, Now I just need to wait and even if its not something that huge.... its okay. Even if He provides peace for now thats awesome too!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Dear voice of opposition

I get it you care about us, you love our family and do not want to see us suffer or hurting. You tell us in ways that sound very discouraging however. You say we are fools, crazy, you say we are young and naive. You say you don't understand you don't agree you never can and you never will. Listen up .....
If I listened to you I would never live I would fear! Life would be held in the grips of the what ifs. If I listened to you I would be going against who I was made to be, who My God created me to be. If I listened to your ''wisdom'' it would say think of myself first. If I believed you, I would have been stolen from from a sweet husband it would have stolen me from this sweet girl I adore. You are a discouraging you are not trusting the King for His daughter and you are being a
POOP HEAD! (that's the best word that came to my mind at the moment :)!
When I was 17 years old and heard the voice of truth telling me to go to Colorado and join a DTS, there was the same opposition against me. "God does not speak to kids'', ''Too much money you will never get the $ to go.''
This written in my journal at the age of 17
'' Lord I want people to say that I am in the right for doing this, I want to follow what you said but everyone thinks its so dumb maybe they are right?!"
''While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.48He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" 49Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. 50For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
This started my walk with great perspective. What you don't know voice, is that I was created vastly different that you wish I would be. That I had two grandmothers praying on there knees that I would be a woman that loves the truth and that picks up the cross at any cost. I have a destiny that you just need to let go.
Your voice does bring a stumbling block at times, I doubt. Oh do I ever. I know better.
I know you may never understand, I know that you may never see through my eyes. You do need to let go and stop with the words you choose to use to bring guilt and confusion. Trust that this Giant and loving God would never drive me to a fountain to drink and leave me for dead. Be proud of my heart of compassion, my heart for my children and those that are fatherless.
Voice, I would understand if I lead a life of sin I almost think you may love me more. But please voice know the pain I have when you drive your words deep into the core of my heart and tell me you disagree, because when you do I ache. Know that I was made stubborn and that words are words however I still like everyone else want acceptance.
Its okay if you never say the words my heart wants to hear. Just know I will still walk steadfast. I will walk and not grow weary. I will listen to the voice of TRUTH!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

When you ask God for an answer sometime its not what you want

We asked God to provide a huge miracle in our finance so that we can be open to what He wants us to do with your big path change. We were thinking like I don't know someone old lost uncle dyeing and leaving us so bucko cash ;0. We were one of those Americans that bought in to a Big house, small mortgage interest only to get us into a home we could not afford. That was close to four years ago and we have both changed so much from those silly worldly people.
We have the Fathers heart and Kingdom at heart now and so our perspective has taken a 360 indeed. Things have been tight crunching and really hard for our one income family. There are many families in this boat as we all have seen the decline in jobs. We bought our home with Franks overtimes in the budget plan, well what do you think happens with one year of no overtime and no emergency fund. Need I say more? Because of what we feel God asking us to do and where we are right at the moment there is no room to stay the same and change not even by a penny. So we began to ask what to do. We came to the cross road so No or even later to Gods plans in work, or say goodbye to our beloved home. Knowing full well its just a house!
We are selling our home, yikes! We are so nervous but feel at peace.
We have to rent a home to start our emergency fund, adoption savings, car savings and future home savings. So, it may not have been a huge miracle of God paying off my dept :) but its our first plan of attack to be more financially available to God.
Anyone know of a 4 bedroom home for rent under 1,100 :)?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Logic vs Wisdom vs Trust

Took some time of the blogging world lots of end of the year blah blahs blahs and unknown future dilemmas.

What do you do when you feel God calling you to something but have no freaking idea how it will happen. Where budget wise, and energy wise it seems not possible? Where you crunch numbers over and over and writing it on paper just makes it more discouraging so you let it go, then it comes up again, let it go, come back. Do you let logic pose for wisdom, or do you continue trusting in a way that seems not logical or even fathomable? How about the looks you get when you try to explain what you are listening to or the silence in the conversations on the other end and you can hear almost clearly the thoughts of the audience saying to you " YOU ARE BEYOND CRAZY''. Do you continue to trust then even then? How about when the forces of reality settle in and you wonder to yourself ''Am I CRAZY, Is this me?''
What do you do when you know saying no would be easier, no stress, no pressures, and no attention, no gossips, no giving of myself or the people in my care.
What do you do? Is it possible to please God and everyone? Is it possible to be lead to something so huge with your own motive?
I have been a believer for a long time, I can answer each of these questions for a friend, more honestly with closer friends. When it comes to me, right now, I struggle!
Right now we face a change of our future, so grand its seems crazy! I feel like as believers #1. Our lives are not our own, Galatians 2:20. That means you hold on to nothing, its not yours. Whats more simple than that? This house not mine, these kids not mine, the future not mine! I know I said my kids were not mine and that's the hardest thing to say, but they are really blessings I am being trusted with. They are Gods first. I do call them mine (sometime I don't :) but am I willing to give them up? They are not mine to begin with!
#2. No looking back.
"No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62
I want to be fit for His kingdom that means I can not say I am going to follow him and wonder about what I am leaving behind. I want to say all in or nothing. He would rather that that half-assed (excuse my language) faith! Nor am I picking up all my things and moving to Africa without my family, that would not be biblical at all!

These are my two verses that I keep falling on when the doubts enter my mind. I know them well, although I still .....what ...I am still hanging on to the plow. Its secure its easier, its tangible.
The path that may be set before use requires much faith, requires a miracle to be honest financially a huge miracle at best!
Would love prayer through the plow throwing!
Do any of you have stories you can share about your lives taking this plow throwing so to say, would love to hear about it! Comment please.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

My new Best thing!

The colors in this picture really make me smile
Cant help but smiling at this one too!
I love the look in her face

Frank and his Father Frank Sr.
The rooster at grandmas house
Olympia Farmers Market
3 Chicks at the market
Our dog Willie
The 2 year old curiousity

Its been a while from Blog world being a face book addict takes away all the blogging urge!
And being super busy has just a few things to do with it as well. My mothers day totally rocked!! My hubby gave me something on my birthday bucket list. I want to be a photographer and picking up my friend Kinseys' Nikon while in South Africa gave me the eagerness even more! I started saving up for one, and so was my hubby! On mothers day I got it! I LOVE IT! I see things in new light and just reach for my camera at least a dozen times a day. Here are my favorite shots and many of them have Ruby in them :) I will be taking classes and then offering my photo skills as a small business. Cant wait!! Call me if you want shots of your peps.

Friday, April 24, 2009

My besties at Best

Amanda my crazy driver and oh so pretty friend
Dena look at this cutie!
The rings!

Irish band that sung Happy Birthday
Awesome brownie cake
BFF necklaces!

I can not even express with words the depth of love I have for these girls ;). They are some true heart friends! I never wonder with these girls if what they are saying out of their mouths is really genuine I never have to wonder about there real feelings for me or have to second guess my trust level. My favorite part about them is they don't gossip!! How hard is that to find!! I am so blessed to have heart friends and these girls are right up there!
They planned with Frank to kidnap me and take me on a real birthday party. They came on 12 days after my birthday so I never suspected any of it. Frank told me on Wednesday morning to be ready to go at 6:30 at night oh yeah and this is not a date with him or by myself. That's all he told me. These girls ran inside my house with fun sunglasses and shiny rings and took me in the car. We each wore 10 rings that added up to 30! They made me wear a tiara and took me to a restaurant by the water so nice! There was an Irish band there that sung happy birthday!
They baked me a brownie cake, bought special straws to drink from and bought 30 M&Ms my favorite candy! We went to the movies in glow in the dark necklaces we watched 17 again (so cute). My favorite part, and this may be so silly but I loved giving those special necklaces to my BFFs growing up, do you remember those? Well I got one from these girlie's how special. Dena and Amanda you really bring such joy to me Thank you for this night, I love you!

Charity Water Birthday

Patrick and Dawn these sweet friends soon take off to be missionaries Patrick to China and Dawn to Turkey.
Sweet friends Lisa and Tammy

My Besties Dena and Amanda
Fawn and Brent

Friends Jenn and Emily
Frank and I hosted a Charity Water cheese and wine party for my 30th we raised $650 that will go to building wells in Ethiopia! Not bad for a few friends!
I forgot to take pictures so some of my guest left before sweet Dawn pulled out the camera. It was a fun night thank you all who were able to come being the night before Easter I loved celebration with you and thanks for listening to my heart on Charity Water. If you have never heard of Charity Water you can read about it here.
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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!