Saturday, October 25, 2008

I have been tagged!

I have been tagged twice this past week by Neely and Suzi!

Seven random things about me:

1. I always have a coffee cup in my hand, I know terrible, but I cant live without my dark love. Its my love language. You love me you bring me coffee :)

2. I talk to God out loud when no one is in the car, sure I look like an idiot, but I like to think He is in my passenger seat and I even use hand gestures and turn my cheek to look every now and then, I know CORKY!

3. I love Mr. ED, Leave it to Beaver, Lassie, The Andy Griffith Show, Laverne and Shirley and tune into TV Land when no one else is around everyone else gets bored with at my house.

4. I can speak fluent Spanish and Cruzian and my thinking voice has the same accent! The scary part is I translate for myself, LOL, okay not you I am rolling over her!

5. I have this recurring dream that someone on an airplane screams for a doctor and I come to the rescue, No serious it happens all the time, whats that about?

6. When I am standing in line at the bank, I think about a plan if in case we were to get in the middle of a Robbery, for instance how will I tackle the robber. Okay do I have HERO Syndrome?
7. I practice crying in the mirror,( when I feel sad) I have the ugliest cry you have ever seen. So if I cry in the mirror I feel like I am practicing for when Niagara falls in front of people I feel a little more confident :)....shut up you know you do the same sometimes?!

Now I am tagging Frank, Jenn, Kels, Candace, Lindsey,

Okay I am still searching for two more that have not been tagged :)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Please pray for Abby

I have been following the Riggs family blog since last year when I was praying for their daughter Sami from Ethiopia to be united with a forever family. Sami was united with a family of 6 other children. 4 Biological and 2 from Guatemala. In July their three year old daughter Abby was diagnosed with Leukemia and have been battling with Chemo to fight. She seems to be a fighter! I just ask that you add Abby Riggs to your prayer list. Reading the Riggs postings I know that they love God but I can hear their hearts breaking facing the fight of sweet Abby's life.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Hellos and Goodbyes....

Ruby hamming it up with Mamma
Mamma with her sisters Eppy on left, Casita on right, brother Marsall and Virilo
My cute Uncle Marsall

I arrived back from Florida late last night with Ruby. The last five days I spent with my family at my Aunt Yvonne's house surrounding my grandmother with broken hearts and nostalgic yearnings of old days past. I have a HUGE family on my mothers side the Perez family. My grandmother has 11 brothers and sisters and five are alive and well. My grandmothers two sisters have been with her these past few months before she took a turn for the worse. When she was rushed to the hospital a couple of weeks ago she sent for her brothers both came to see her along with grandchildren and nieces and nephews and so many friends. At one time I counted 23 of us all in the house at the same time. We surrounded her with care, love, prayers and songs. We grew up Pentecostal, went to pentecostal churches and our old roots runs through us. So when there are songs to be sang about Jesus its hard to keep our bodies still so can you imagine what it looked like when we were given tambourines and shakers to sing with my grandmother in her bed?! Some time my grandmother would not talk and other times she would repeat herself over and over and we would pretend it was the first time we heard what she had to say. My grandmother would tell everyone that came to visit her, and there were tons of people coming in and out, that I am like a daughter to her. Its true I spent my youth in my grandmothers house, I called her to pick me up every day and she did! My parents did live five minutes away :)! So we are VERY close.
One afternoon she kept repeating the names of the couple that gave me airlines miles to go see her she kept saying Alex and Shelley's name over and over and when I asked her what she was doing she said she was praying for them. We had a revival on Saturday night my Uncle Marsall is an evangelist and fasted all day for a message for the evening. We all gathered to hear the words he prepared and to sing as we celebrated my grandmothers life. It was peaceful and aching all at the same time.

We had moments where I thought I would laugh until I cried, knowing the laughter was good medicine. And moments like on Saturday night when I had to say Good bye for good. I will try to explain in words what its like to say good bye to someone who is awake and can understand what you are saying. You both know that you know. Its like a cloud of uncertainty all around. We know heaven is near, but when right when I leave, as I am talking to her? I looked in her eyes and said "Mamma its time for me to go...." She looked at me with the saddest eyes and like a small child responded with "Why?" "I have to go back home to my family..." She then kept asking random things like a child would ask when you are tucking them to sleep to keep you in the room. She would ask things like the clothes size of my kids, she wanted me to go through a ginormous stack of old recipes, old photos, it took two hours of procrastination and I could see she was getting tired. So I kissed her on her sweet forehead caressed her thinning grey hair sobbed on her chest, dried her tears as she wiped mine ,covered her frail body with a soft blanket and exited the room. I remember this feeling only it stings a little deeper, its as if its opened old wounds of grief. I wish at times I could love with a distant heart so that not to hurt this badly, but I was not formed that way. I like her Love with Everything in me!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

God Wink!

Ruby and my grandma last year.
This weekend I had the privilege to join some woman who attended a woman of Faith conference in Portland. One of the speakers spoke on God giving us moments of joy through other people a tangent reminder that He works still today and that He loves the very existence of our being. God winked at me this weekend, though some sweet friends Shelley and Alex who gave me miles and booked a ticket for me to fly out tonight to see my grandmother and be surrounded by my family as we are at her bed side. My grandmother is in my aunts house right now with hospice at her side, some days its worse and some days she is just okay. You ever have the feeling that you don't deserve someones goodness and generosity. That's what I felt, it was to good to accept! There was no pause or hesitation to their generous offer, I did accept and for me its a God wink! Alex and Shelley no words I have can express my sincere gratitude. I hope God will use me one day to give you a God wink! I thank the Lord when I think of you sweet friends!

Thursday, October 9, 2008


From left: Tia Cynthia, little sister Yvonne, My Mom, My Grandma, Tia Yvonne, my Sister Sharlene, Me, Cousin Monica
My sweet Grandmother has been battling cancer for a few years now. She was first diagnosed when our baby Hudson was in the hospital two years ago and was told she had a few days lucky if she had months. She was not convinced of her time and told everyone she was not ready and was not going anywhere. I have been back to Florida twice to "say Good-bye". A few days ago she was taken to the ER where she is still at the moment for liver failure and this time she does say she is ready. I am not! My family is very close my grandma is a STRONG Christan woman that loves Christ with every fiber its illuminates from her glow. She is very charismatic, there is never a dull moment when she enters a room. Compassion is the gift that she has given me. Her name is Maria. Maria purchased a bar from her brother right down the corner of her house. This bar was a haven for the towns drunks sadly this included my grandfather. I would sneak out of the house to go bring him home again. Maria was happy to own the property and turned it into her non-profit called "The Rescue Mission". She housed prostitutes and drug addicts to give them a chance at turning there life over the God and getting clean. She dedicated her time and energy to the poor of our island, and is well know for her hospitality. Her heart is for the poor to be rescued. She is nicked named "Sister Maria". She traveled to Countries when she felt called and one the is close to her heart is Guatemala. Growing up with her was a challenge, in the sense that her charisma embarrassed me, I Laugh now because of it. But when I would bring friends home to my home she would ask them if she can pray and anoint them with oil....AHH!!!! RUN. My friends grew to love and her, and even knew who they could go to and ask for prayer. The way this woman prays shakes the roof off. When she opens her mouth its like a thousand angels are present she prays with authority and gumption! When she prays you feel like her prayer was the one the one God did listen to even though he listens to them all. We are just convinced that she had to pray for God to do something.
Tuesday night as my Aunt Yvonne sat next to her at the hospital updating us at every event via email via text. I wrote an email to my aunt to please kiss my grandmother for me and how much I wish I was there to touch her aging hands. So much of me wished to be right next to her at this moment. She is in Florida and I am in Washington across the states. My aunt opened her computer to check her email while my grandmother slept peacefully. As she was reading my email to herself, my grandmother wakes up and says "Natalie, oh she was just here!" my aunt surprised at her sudden wake replies "No Mom Natalie is not here!" to which my grandmother replies "Yes she was here and she kissed me and said she loves me, she was just here!" My Aunt had to leave the room because she was overcome by this strange encounter. I spoke with my grandmother who asked if I asked God to do that for her. How amazing is that.
I have been in tears for two days my eyes are so puffy and red, my heart heavy with the knowledge that a great woman my hero will be leaving this earth.
Pray for Maria when you think if her, pray for our family as we have to say Good-bye.

Friday, October 3, 2008

This stud made 32 today!

Frank turned 32 today! I am incredibly lucky to share a union with this guy. This king of my castle rocks. 32 reasons why you rock my world! Beware: Will get Mushy!

1. My morning cup of coffee always ready for me, no reminders!

2. You never think twice about having all the kids all at the same time, its no problem for you.

3. You help with the laundry without me asking

4. You say "I love you" still at the end of a phone conversation

5. You like me and enjoy spending time with me over others

6. You clean out my car when I cant see the bottom of it,

7. and still love me when it gets dirty again

8. We laugh till we cry sometimes its therapy for me

9. You know my looks the "okay thats enough time to go" look the "help me out of this conversation" look, the "can you believe she just say that, on no she didn't" look.

10. You saw me in labor, and still think I am pretty!

11. You lied to me and told me I was prettier than Sarah Palin

12. You like my hair curly

13. You love watching the kids sleep

14. You lock all our door at night and when you ask me to do it, you still have to get out of bed because you have to "double check"

15. You don't get mad because I forgot to lock the doors just as you thought

16.You let me read things out loud to you all the time

17. Even other peoples blog you don't know and you think its cute when I cry as I read them

18. You giggle when I laugh at silly hallmark commercials

19.You cant get enough of Ruby!

20. You still are entertained by inability to keep a project

21. I love your routine you have to do every morning and every night

22. I love that your are a mad republican and you know your political facts

23. I love that you always put me and the kids first

24. I love that you are so selfless

25. I love that you remind me of the light at the end of the tunnel

26. I Love that you are a hard worker

27. I love that you Love God

28. I love that you are a tower for us

29. I love that you are my North Star never wandering

30. I love that I can think of 30 more things I love about you

31. You let me breathe without feeling guilty

32. I love that I have our children with you, I love that we will always have Hudson you and me babe!

Happy Birthday

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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!