The kids and I went for a walk and bike ride on a beautiful fall afternoon. The park is right next to the cemetery that Hudson's body lies. I played with the boys and Ruby sat in the stroller giggling at my attempt to climb the monkey bars, wosh, something about your body after kids...hmmm! I was not surprised when "J" wanted to go walk to Hudson's grave, I knew it was coming. The kids rode there bikes and I f followed behind preparing myself for what emotion may come. The boys found Hudson without direction from me. They set their bikes on the wet grass and ran to his grave, I counted the steeps from where the grass meets the road right to his grave so not to really think about it. 51 to be exact. I watched "J" dig his hand in his pocket a serious look on his face, he looked for something to leave with Hudson. He found a wrapper from a piece of gum he knelt down and put in on the grave. "A" climbed a statue near Hudson's grave thinking it was Jesus, he said "look mom someone froze Jesus!" I could not help but chuckle as I see his legs wrapped around the statue of St. Matthew. It really made that moment not so sad for me. We have made this a normal for us, visiting Hudson. I so ache at times, and dream to just feel his skin oh but one more time! But I must settle for the way the dust feels on my fingertips as I wipe it away from his grave side.
We walk away and "A" yells (I am sure he think he is talking normal) "Hudson we love you and we miss you so much, see you later." J then asks me "Do we grow in Heaven, like will Hudson still be small when we see him?" I baffle through what I think may be a perfeclty good explanation, but I loose him in translation. Then he stops his bike really fast looking at the ground picks up something I didn't see and says he has to do something. He takes off fast on his bike back from where we came stops at Hudson's bends down and runs back to his bike and meets up with me. "What did you do," I ask, "I found something better for Hudson." he replies so matter of fact. Very sweet.
An inexpensive gift idea and a fun recipe!
6 years ago