All God's Children our adoption Agency has children waiting for a home at Hannah's Hope Ethiopia the home where we got Ruby from. I got a flyer a few days ago and there is one particular child that I was drawn to, lets call her "S". "S" is seven years old, so bright and wonderful. We meet "S" at Hannah's Hope when we went to be united to our sweet baby girl Ruby. S, was at the home looking for a family since February. Since Hannah's Hope is not an Orphanage and it is a Transitional home "S" or any of the other children can not stay long term. When I opened the flyer and I saw her face I was overcome with emotion, I remembered her face as we pulled away from Hannah's Hope our van filled with children and thier new families. That day as we drove back to the airport we saw those somber faces and we didn't say much to one another. The kids were saying farewell to thier friends, waving and running behind our van, I turned and looked at these faces I left behind, I left my heart there also.
I mentioned the flyer to Frank and he immediately said we can go back! Can you believe it my husband, Mr. tight budget :) We cannot of course we have to wait 6 months before we start on the process again, and budget wise we are flat broke. Are we thinking about it, YOU BET! We can't now but if you know anyone that is wanting to grow their family through adoption there are waiting children everywhere yes....but my heart is close to the ones in Ethiopia. So I will say, open your heart to the possibility of an older child in Ethiopia. If you are interested in sponsorship also you can contact AGCI, you may sponsor a child or Hannah's Hope Home for as little as 35 dollars a month, okay now I sound like a commercial :) The picture above is of the kids shoes at Hannahs Hope.
Rubsters (what my "A'' call her) is now five months. How is she? Wonderful, really she is an easy baby. Cries to eat, when tired, or when she wants an extra cuddle. Someone asked me last night, how is it having an adoptive baby vs. carrying a child in your womb for 9 months. I have read so many literate on who different it will be for an adoptive child, things she may experience what to do when she does, things others will ask and even ways to respond. I have not read about what I will feel for her, I thought it would be a given. Yet no, in the beginning I had to remind myself that she is mine, she is crying...hey that's your baby go get her! I know its strange and she did not grown in my womb but she did grow above it in my heart and that was my connection to her. It was a small process for me hard to explain because you would thing goodness she is so adorable and I waited for her so why not instant? I felt ashamed of that feeling and now I realize its very normal to feel this way at first. That feeling does not last long, trust me.
She is MINE, but I do know that I am sharing her with her birth mom, and I think about her every day. What she must be feeling facing yet another day without her baby, I know this feeling all to well. I know it will never be something she just stops thinking about one day, I know at night when she prays she prays for Ruby. For her life, I just know she does. I see her in Ruby they look so much alike. I talk to Ruby about her when I lay her in bed and say "Mommy loves you, daddy loves you, Jesus loves you and Mulu Mom loves you too!" I stare at the picture of her mom holding her and I study her face, her hands, her dress, and I pray for her heart. That she would know Ruby is doing well, that she would feel loved by those around her. That Ruby would grow to understand and love her.
last week Ruby and I returned from a five day trip to Florida. As the photo journalist that I am I decided to bring my camera and as the space cadet mom brain I forgot to charge the battery before I left. So this is the only picture I captured before my camera died. Its of my Mamma (grandma)Maria. She has cancer and my trip there was last minute. She found out the cancer had returned to her body and she was not sure what she could do for treatment. Her body is to weak for Chemo and she had already tried a form of radiation. My sister, and cousins flew in for a weekend to spend time with her. It was wonderful because I am so far away, I forget where I am from. Within the first few hours of my arrival I was reminded. I love the Northwest so people that represent the NW, I mean no harm about the following. There is a HUGE difference between people from the North West and the South! First the culture in the South is very warm and friendly and there in an open door policy you can just drop on by with no call and you really don't have to have the house clean they just want to see you. Now the NW, has a different feeling, and I learned over the past ten years of living here what it is, the culture here is very reserved yet sweet, people call days in advance to come see you, (perhaps that's where the need to clean comes in lots of notice!), they want to talk about there feelings alot, (not a bad thing, in moderation!)they don't want to impose so to not upset you, they want to respect your feelings, also a great thing. Now there are both wonderful cultures, both very unique, yet very different. Its a culture I have came to understand and can now appreciate, my kids are now Northwest/southern :) I wanted to be so far from my own when Frank and I first got married that I tried all the above to acclimate to my new surroundings ,you know talk about my feelings (every one I had) can I just say I SUCK at it. Yes I have tried and it made me put my big fat foot in the mouth plenty of times, its just not me! So going back to my roots reminds me I am from the South. I am the drop by kinda kid, I really don't want to analyze my emotions, I like them right in my own head! Does this mean I don't respect people that are reserved, NO! I am just saying I am content with who God has made me, and a huge part of me is built from my family. Seeing them for who they are gave me a graver appreciation for who I am. Sure, they are loud, and they fight out in the open, but they love hard. They don't hold a grudge and then want to talk about it later, they just flat out tell ya (sometimes not nice:).
They responded to Ruby with open arms and were so happy to meet her, this made my heart swell with joy! I will post more pictures of my trip when I beg my cousin for her copies.
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