Monday, May 28, 2007

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Hudson!

One year ago on this day a sweet baby boy entered this world thought my womb. The day Hudson was born I knew from the moment I saw him that my life would never be the same. At the moment I was not able to grasp what that meant for us.

DH the boy and I went to Hudson's grave on Sunday morning the 27 to lay flowers at his grave. It didn't seem right, should I bring balloons? Should we have a cake? There is no hallmark card that says "on the day your son should be one but not really because he is in heaven now." I did know that I wanted some time for myself so "F" took the boys and gave me five minutes. I sat at Hudson grave and wept like a baby. I looked at the sky and told God how unfair this is, I should be cleaning up his sugar-free cake filled tray not brushing the grass clippings of MY SONS grave. As I knelt there on the cold stone, the smell of freshly cut grass filled the air, the birds singing and the sun peeking at me through the clouds. I realized how Lucky I am, my son is with the marker of Heaven and earth. The angels are giving him a party one bigger than what I can make him. And on his guest list Christ and all His glory. In that brief five minutes of solitude I knew that my breaking heart was not overlooked. I sensed an understanding from heaven a peace that God could see right into the depth of my mother heart and He hurt with me.

F and I spent the entire day with the boys. We went to the zoo, had lunch, and talked about Hudson. I hugged them more today, as I look at them there are traits on there faces that remind me of Hudson. Hudson had Js nose, A's forehead, my funny big toe . I smiled as I looked at these traits that remind me so much of Hudson.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy Hudson. There is no me without you.

Any unauthorized copying of these photos or posts will constitute an infringement of copyright. No part of this blog or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author.

Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!