Selling=Smaller House=NO ADOPTION?

House on the market. Adoption still on the mind. Smaller home = no adoption?
Its been a hard few weeks. Because of the fact that we both feel God calling to something Big, because of the fact that the calling does not match the income, its been rough.
Its easy for God to pay off our mortgage and we can adopt all the kids the house can hold. It would just be a simple thing for him to do!
I can hear it in my own head just because He calls you to something it doesn't mean right now, doesn't mean that in the next few months we will bring some kids home or move to Africa ;) (never say never!)
For right now we feel like God asked us to sell our home. To get our home in order, that's what we are doing. We both strongly feel that we can not go into dept for an adoption. God calls and He will provide even if its a hard thing to wait. Focus has been shifted to selling, getting right before God in dept land, and saving and giving.
For me, math is a fact of life. Equations will always leave you with a sum. Right now the equation does not match sum the heart feeling. Does this change our hearts for adoption. NO.
However with other things pressing, we are waiting for two things. God to do something so huge
sell our home, or pay it off you know whatever ;0. Or for God to ease our minds on the issue of adoption for right now and that perhaps his timing is later. I am hoping that a millionaire somewhere who is an advocate for adoption pays off our mortgage with the clause that we must adopt ;) so I dream..hehe.
Out of my diary when I was 17 waiting for a miracle to happen so I can go on a mission trip with YWAM ...Sorry I keep alot of diaries!
''.....There are only a few of us that do not have money I still need $1000 by the end of the evening to go on mission otherwise I will be sent home. There is a white board with all the names of those still needing money and mine is the largest need. Maybe God wants me to stay and not go on this mission. Or maybe He will bless my socks off and show HE is GOD! The mail has come in and the others have began to open it they have gotten some checks in the mail from supporters. Me...nothing! Randy our leader has asked everyone to gather around the piano as we sing and pray for the funds to come in he decides to take an offering but we are all missionaries so not alot of money gets wiped off the board. Mine is now down 970. The day is gone by and some names have been wiped off the board I can see some people got there $ last minute mine...not a penny less. Its 8 everyones name is off. Mine still there. I was called into the office with news I can not believe a supporter called in with all the money just for me. I said is it family or a friend. None, the man doesn't even know you. Some guy called into the YWAM base and said He felt like God ask Him to give someone $970. I am beyond in Love with My Jesus for this rescue!''

So I have seen Him do awesome things, Now I just need to wait and even if its not something that huge.... its okay. Even if He provides peace for now thats awesome too!

Dear voice of opposition

I get it you care about us, you love our family and do not want to see us suffer or hurting. You tell us in ways that sound very discouraging however. You say we are fools, crazy, you say we are young and naive. You say you don't understand you don't agree you never can and you never will. Listen up .....
If I listened to you I would never live I would fear! Life would be held in the grips of the what ifs. If I listened to you I would be going against who I was made to be, who My God created me to be. If I listened to your ''wisdom'' it would say think of myself first. If I believed you, I would have been stolen from from a sweet husband it would have stolen me from this sweet girl I adore. You are a discouraging you are not trusting the King for His daughter and you are being a
POOP HEAD! (that's the best word that came to my mind at the moment :)!
When I was 17 years old and heard the voice of truth telling me to go to Colorado and join a DTS, there was the same opposition against me. "God does not speak to kids'', ''Too much money you will never get the $ to go.''
This written in my journal at the age of 17
'' Lord I want people to say that I am in the right for doing this, I want to follow what you said but everyone thinks its so dumb maybe they are right?!"
''While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. ⁴⁷Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.⁴⁸He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" ⁴⁹Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. ⁵⁰For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
This started my walk with great perspective. What you don't know voice, is that I was created vastly different that you wish I would be. That I had two grandmothers praying on there knees that I would be a woman that loves the truth and that picks up the cross at any cost. I have a destiny that you just need to let go.
Your voice does bring a stumbling block at times, I doubt. Oh do I ever. I know better.
I know you may never understand, I know that you may never see through my eyes. You do need to let go and stop with the words you choose to use to bring guilt and confusion. Trust that this Giant and loving God would never drive me to a fountain to drink and leave me for dead. Be proud of my heart of compassion, my heart for my children and those that are fatherless.
Voice, I would understand if I lead a life of sin I almost think you may love me more. But please voice know the pain I have when you drive your words deep into the core of my heart and tell me you disagree, because when you do I ache. Know that I was made stubborn and that words are words however I still like everyone else want acceptance.
Its okay if you never say the words my heart wants to hear. Just know I will still walk steadfast. I will walk and not grow weary. I will listen to the voice of TRUTH!

When you ask God for an answer sometime its not what you want

We asked God to provide a huge miracle in our finance so that we can be open to what He wants us to do with your big path change. We were thinking like I don't know someone old lost uncle dyeing and leaving us so bucko cash ;0. We were one of those Americans that bought in to a Big house, small mortgage interest only to get us into a home we could not afford. That was close to four years ago and we have both changed so much from those silly worldly people.
We have the Fathers heart and Kingdom at heart now and so our perspective has taken a 360 indeed. Things have been tight crunching and really hard for our one income family. There are many families in this boat as we all have seen the decline in jobs. We bought our home with Franks overtimes in the budget plan, well what do you think happens with one year of no overtime and no emergency fund. Need I say more? Because of what we feel God asking us to do and where we are right at the moment there is no room to stay the same and change not even by a penny. So we began to ask what to do. We came to the cross road so No or even later to Gods plans in work, or say goodbye to our beloved home. Knowing full well its just a house!
We are selling our home, yikes! We are so nervous but feel at peace.
We have to rent a home to start our emergency fund, adoption savings, car savings and future home savings. So, it may not have been a huge miracle of God paying off my dept :) but its our first plan of attack to be more financially available to God.
Anyone know of a 4 bedroom home for rent under 1,100 :)?

Logic vs Wisdom vs Trust

Took some time of the blogging world lots of end of the year blah blahs blahs and unknown future dilemmas.

What do you do when you feel God calling you to something but have no freaking idea how it will happen. Where budget wise, and energy wise it seems not possible? Where you crunch numbers over and over and writing it on paper just makes it more discouraging so you let it go, then it comes up again, let it go, come back. Do you let logic pose for wisdom, or do you continue trusting in a way that seems not logical or even fathomable? How about the looks you get when you try to explain what you are listening to or the silence in the conversations on the other end and you can hear almost clearly the thoughts of the audience saying to you " YOU ARE BEYOND CRAZY''. Do you continue to trust then even then? How about when the forces of reality settle in and you wonder to yourself ''Am I CRAZY, Is this me?''
What do you do when you know saying no would be easier, no stress, no pressures, and no attention, no gossips, no giving of myself or the people in my care.
What do you do? Is it possible to please God and everyone? Is it possible to be lead to something so huge with your own motive?
I have been a believer for a long time, I can answer each of these questions for a friend, more honestly with closer friends. When it comes to me, right now, I struggle!
Right now we face a change of our future, so grand its seems crazy! I feel like as believers #1. Our lives are not our own, Galatians 2:20. That means you hold on to nothing, its not yours. Whats more simple than that? This house not mine, these kids not mine, the future not mine! I know I said my kids were not mine and that's the hardest thing to say, but they are really blessings I am being trusted with. They are Gods first. I do call them mine (sometime I don't :) but am I willing to give them up? They are not mine to begin with!
#2. No looking back.
"No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." Luke 9:62
I want to be fit for His kingdom that means I can not say I am going to follow him and wonder about what I am leaving behind. I want to say all in or nothing. He would rather that that half-assed (excuse my language) faith! Nor am I picking up all my things and moving to Africa without my family, that would not be biblical at all!

These are my two verses that I keep falling on when the doubts enter my mind. I know them well, although I still .....what ...I am still hanging on to the plow. Its secure its easier, its tangible.
The path that may be set before use requires much faith, requires a miracle to be honest financially a huge miracle at best!
Would love prayer through the plow throwing!
Do any of you have stories you can share about your lives taking this plow throwing so to say, would love to hear about it! Comment please.

My new Best thing!

The colors in this picture really make me smile
Cant help but smiling at this one too!
I love the look in her face

Frank and his Father Frank Sr.
The rooster at grandmas house
Olympia Farmers Market
Market
3 Chicks at the market
Our dog Willie
The 2 year old curiousity



Its been a while from Blog world being a face book addict takes away all the blogging urge!
And being super busy has just a few things to do with it as well. My mothers day totally rocked!! My hubby gave me something on my birthday bucket list. I want to be a photographer and picking up my friend Kinseys' Nikon while in South Africa gave me the eagerness even more! I started saving up for one, and so was my hubby! On mothers day I got it! I LOVE IT! I see things in new light and just reach for my camera at least a dozen times a day. Here are my favorite shots and many of them have Ruby in them :) I will be taking classes and then offering my photo skills as a small business. Cant wait!! Call me if you want shots of your peps.

My besties at Best

Amanda my crazy driver and oh so pretty friend
Dena look at this cutie!
The rings!


Irish band that sung Happy Birthday
Awesome brownie cake
BFF necklaces!

I can not even express with words the depth of love I have for these girls ;). They are some true heart friends! I never wonder with these girls if what they are saying out of their mouths is really genuine I never have to wonder about there real feelings for me or have to second guess my trust level. My favorite part about them is they don't gossip!! How hard is that to find!! I am so blessed to have heart friends and these girls are right up there!
They planned with Frank to kidnap me and take me on a real birthday party. They came on 12 days after my birthday so I never suspected any of it. Frank told me on Wednesday morning to be ready to go at 6:30 at night oh yeah and this is not a date with him or by myself. That's all he told me. These girls ran inside my house with fun sunglasses and shiny rings and took me in the car. We each wore 10 rings that added up to 30! They made me wear a tiara and took me to a restaurant by the water so nice! There was an Irish band there that sung happy birthday!
They baked me a brownie cake, bought special straws to drink from and bought 30 M&Ms my favorite candy! We went to the movies in glow in the dark necklaces we watched 17 again (so cute). My favorite part, and this may be so silly but I loved giving those special necklaces to my BFFs growing up, do you remember those? Well I got one from these girlie's how special. Dena and Amanda you really bring such joy to me Thank you for this night, I love you!

Charity Water Birthday

Patrick and Dawn these sweet friends soon take off to be missionaries Patrick to China and Dawn to Turkey.
Sweet friends Lisa and Tammy



My Besties Dena and Amanda
Fawn and Brent


Friends Jenn and Emily
Frank and I hosted a Charity Water cheese and wine party for my 30th we raised $650 that will go to building wells in Ethiopia! Not bad for a few friends!
I forgot to take pictures so some of my guest left before sweet Dawn pulled out the camera. It was a fun night thank you all who were able to come being the night before Easter I loved celebration with you and thanks for listening to my heart on Charity Water. If you have never heard of Charity Water you can read about it here.