Friday, January 17, 2014

Worrisome Blanket

Its 4:32 in the morning. I know this not from my one eye glanced at my cell phone plugged in next to me on my side table. I know this from the light emanating  from the moonlight behind the brown curtains hanging in my bedroom window. I also could tell you what 1:56, 2:32, 3:47 looks like too. These are the times my body wakes up covered in a blanket of worry, and  griped in fear. 
  For 15 years of our married life Frank had a job with amazing benefits. We had life insurance. Our medical insurance gave me a sense of security, for the days we fall ill.  We had retirement funds, we had enough, even if it never felt enough.  My worries were entirely different.  For 6 months I have been waking up this way. Engulfed with worries. What if one of us gets sick, I mean really sick? What if I die in an accident or he.  The expenses of a funeral would not be covered by anyone.   

I know what you will say. I know because I have told myself all those same phrases. "It will all turn out.'' "soon, soon things will change." "God will provide you just need not worry."  I wake up with sweat on my forehead and I do what I know what to do. I pray. I pray for peace, for my thoughts to be captivated by His peace.   There is a sense of ease that comes when I do so, but not entirely.  The worries come back like a thief in the night. My eyes  with a blank stare at the ceiling keeping my eyes glazed on the ceiling fan. Maybe that will will me lull me back to sleep.  I pray, I pray harder.   
  We have been more than fine for these past 6 months. It has really felt like we have not lacked in food, or money to pay bills.  This is soon to change. Savings have dwindled mightily. 
 In my worrisome storm, I think about how he must be feeling. As a man this must be so difficult to navigate. The worries of his family weighs heavy on him. I know this.  I watch him, there are days he feels the poundage of the uncertainty. I don't see this in tears but I can tell in body language, his shoulders hang lower than usual, the crease of wrinkle between his eye becomes deepened.   Then there are days, that his faith makes his shoulders rise up, his face looks softer, his smile comes easy.  I watch with encouragement and  I make it through another day without breaking down, but that would be so easy, so fitting, so rational. 

  On this side of the fence it looks bleak, hope is dwindling and I am trying harder and harder to stay positive. To trust and to find peace. Its on the horizon It must be.  
  We find ourselves in a place of trust we have never been seasoned in.  Its easy to say you Trust God with money in savings, its easy to say you know he is Healer when you have health Insurance. Its easy to say He provides when you get paid every other week.   When those securities are gone.   This is when the litmus test of your trust comes in.     I am not impressed with my skills thus far. 

  So be praying my friends. Praying for rain for our family. Praying that we experience the abundance soon.   Praying for answers to come in the form of security for our family.  Praying that I can be the wife my husband needs in this 
season of "on hold." That my faith is streghted even if prayers and not answered in the way I thought.     Thanks you guys. 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

You won't even believe this...

Are you perplexed  that I have taken a hiatus from blogging? I am saying like an entire 6 months.  I know, right?   It was not intentional those first few weeks. My motherboard crashed and Chief lost his job, and so well it was not on the need list to order a motherboard. So the blogging got behind. Then when  we fixed our situation,  I felt like so many weeks went by. How do I do a recap on so many things that happen within a few weeks span.   Then oh yeah, I got a job.  It is not full time, but I have not worked this much outside the home for a LOOONGGG time and I didn't have  5 kids at the same time.

   So there you go, I have big and grand excuses. This little update is not even close to a promise, to myself. It may just be that update.
   I am letting go of some expectations I have on my self. So for the new year, all my goals are going to be Non- goals, that's right. NO goals or expectations.    What?   The other way has not worked out for me so much so, I may just give this a shot.   If something amazing gets accomplished by me, then I will just be surprised. Right?   I will let you know how that goes later.

   So We did Christmas. It was a mess,  it was wonderful, we had tears, we have laughing, we had some sibling fights to break up, and we had some sweet sibling love too.   I yelled a few times because the kids did not find my idea of order to be appeasing on the morning of Christmas to maintain order from what could be a chaotic exchange of what would end up like a tableau of hunger games.    The photo above was taken while the monsters  angels slept with sugar plum fairies dancing in their heads.

     After this mess was collectively cleaned up, I enjoyed my second cup of coffee and relished the birth of a Humble and Mighty King born in a stable long long ago.    
Till we chat again. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Hiking Staircase

I have said this before. Nature does something to me. It also does something to them. They Bond.  They also fight in the back seat and yes even on the hike so don't think when we load up in the car the chorus lets out its hallelujahs. 
Yet, I can not fathom why I would be home folding laundry when the great outdoors is calling.   I can do it tomorrow. Today we hike.
We hiked Staircase. It in the Olympics. You should go. 
Our hike was 4 miles roundtrip , it was not steep, however we did need to take some "breathing" breaks.  We did the staircase Rapids. It was breathtaking. 

Family Gatherings.

So we are trying something new with our family here in the PNW. The Teabos (all the Teabos) and the Andersons are gathering once a month. We are two down.  Recently this was at my sister *in law* but I think I can drop the in law now. Right? Its been like 16 years. So here are a few photos from that.  
                 Cousins.....sweetest things.

  We want our kids to have memories together , we want them to remember that once they were friends. Hopefully if we instill in them the needs to keep communication open with extended family then the better chance that they will feel the need also.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Family Hikes

I know what your thinking. Hiking with kids? fun? Say what? I am telling you there are 3 major reasons we love taking them.
1) No electronics. We unplug (minus the photo gadgets)
2. There is something that happens with my kids and the fresh air. Its truly a miracle. 
3. I like who I am when I breathing that wonderful air. 

  Here is a beautiful place called Hurricane Ridge. It is in the Olympic National Park. Its about 1.45 minutes away from Olympia. The drive is breathtaking and the kids will fight some of the time or even chat a ton. Just go with it.

                  I really do love all of them. Just every single one of them.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

This was fun

                   So this is what happens when you and your hubby decide that you want to "do" more outdoors stuff. When you write it in the 'okay maybe we don't do New Years resolutions but we will do a wish list for the 2013 year and hope to accomplish one or two things on it'' list.  We decided that glamping would be a great way to ring in the summer and well if you imagine a sweet escape with everyone getting along and everyone loving one another. I did too. Needless to say, I was proved one thing. Never have expectations of these things.  Don't even let that photo above fool you. That is after we dealt our fare share of yucky attitudes and time outs and some "why did we think this would be a good idea" looks back and forth between the dad and I. 
  Here we are.  We drove to this here yurt. What is a yurt?

                                        Our big boys slept on this pull out. 

   Ready for this. Mom and Dad and little Roo slept on the bottom. G and E on top.  You just bring your own sheets. People...that's what I am talking about. 
 So, I have a very creative 12 year old. ((cough cough)) He thought it would be HILARIOUS  to read this guest book out loud to the kids and add more words such as "It was a great stay except for ...don't leave the yurt at night" or "nice stay but if you leave your yurt at night you will see tall people in the dark" to which I said "no way that's in there?!" J"Mom it totally is" so for the next few hours the kids were not the only one freaked out.  Until I decided to read it myself. Yeah.... so not in there.  So that was fun.
                  Some pretty trails around the yurt. 
  Then we drove here. It did not disappoint. It was amazing. Mt. St. Helens.  It was about one hour drive from our little yurt. 
  Then the stinky attitudes were full of fresh air and  gratitude. This mom was happy here. 

  We headed back after an adventurous time and took to the fire pit back at our campsite yurt.
                    Nice camp fire... oh the smell. 
  So this was interesting. This is part of my Camp board on pintrest. It didn't go so well, hobo popcorn. So it was a flop. 
  But the Smores. We tried Peanut butter cups and um..yummy. 
   We took time to really play a game together. I mean, priceless you guys. Just priceless. I didn't make an excuse of laundry, cleaning, working, etc. We just played.

The evening and morning were the next day:  Hungry kids:
   This worked out. Yummy Hebrew National dog wrapped with a biscuit over the fire. Yes, it works! 
            And This. I mean you would not believe it but if you mixed two eggs and a bunch of omelet fillings in a ziploc bag and throw that puppy in a pot of water. You get ... scroll below...
    A perfect omelet. I am serious this is complete awesomeness. 

We packed our things and were out on our next adventure. 
Here.  Ape Caves, have you even been? Do it.Much fun.

Last adventure here:
 This may not look too dangerous but I assure you. Death was at the bottom of the bridge and all my fear of children falling into water were very very heightened.  The suspension bridge at the Lava Canyon was extremely spectacular. 

Had a picnic right here in this spot. Right here. I know unreal right?

Our two hour and a few minutes ride back looked like this.  Filled with "are we there yet", "I need to go #2" after driving away from the bathroom, "I'm thirsty" "I'm hungry" "he hit me...MOOOOMMM he hit me" 

And then I spend those few hours searching more yurts and hikes we could do this summer.  Then I locked myself in the bathroom for some solitude.  It was worth it folks. 
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Pray for sweet Abby Riggs!!